Change for Growth, Not Because of Problems w/ Amanda Kuda
Welcome to Journey to the Sunnyside, the podcast where we have thoughtful conversations to explore the science of habits, uncover the secrets to mindful living, and, of course, inspire your own mindful drinking journey. This podcast is brought to you by Sunnyside, the number one alcohol moderation platform. Published author, neuroscience enthusiast, and habit change expert. Today, we're joined with Amanda Cudo, author of Unbottled Potential,
Mike:a book dedicated to helping women transform their relationships with alcohol. Amanda shares her journey into elective sobriety, key strategies from her book, and insights on mindful drinking. She'll also discuss navigating social settings with alcohol and how sobriety has become her superpower. So tune in for this unique episode. Okay.
Mike:Today, I'm joined with Amanda Kuda. Amanda, thanks for coming on the show today.
Amanda:Thanks for having me, Mike.
Mike:Great. So I actually wanna kick it off. Before we jump into your personal story, which is really interesting. I wanna talk about something that I've heard you say, which is this concept of elective sobriety. Can you explain what that is?
Amanda:For sure. You know, I don't know where I would love to say I coined the term, but I'm sure that I heard it somewhere and it just made sense to me because I was looking for a way to describe my sobriety journey, and I did not choose a traditional path because that didn't make sense for me, the traditional recovery path that is. And I heard this term elective sobriety, and it kind of hearkened to, you know, when you decide to have an elective surgery. You don't have to have it. It's a choice you're you're making.
Amanda:And while everyone who chooses a sober path, it is a choice they make. It is something they commit to. I think that we can all understand that some people choose that because it's life or death for them or make or break for them. And some people, choose it because they it could get they want to live a better life, and they don't want it to get to the point where it could be make or break, life or death. And while neither path is right, wrong, good, or bad, everyone has a different way that they approach it.
Amanda:And so I wanted a way to explain and conceptualize my journey to being alcohol free that made sense, and this term elective sobriety really seemed to fit the bill that it wasn't something I had to do, and yet it was a choice I felt like it was really Yeah. I
Mike:Yeah. I love it. You know, it makes me think of that expression that you kinda see floating around, which is if you're thinking about changing your drinking, then you probably have a real problem. What are your thoughts on that?
Amanda:You know, I wrote about this in my book because that that phrase kind of irks me a little bit. And I think it's so rooted in this one focused path for recovery that I think is so necessary and important that someone who it is a a very detrimental life decision can have this container by which to operate. But then it also makes it almost seem like it's an untouchable life path for people who don't have to make that choice. And, again, this is not knocking anything. I just I will be very forthcoming.
Amanda:I have family members who, are identify as alcoholic, and I've seen it very up close and personal. And so I know what that path looks like, and I also know how very helpful that those types of treatments can be. But for me, it almost was a deterrent because I'm like, well, I'm not like my stepmom was, and so I don't really need to go down that path. And I also don't feel it's authentic to kinda do some of the paths that recovery requires and the 12 steps entail. And so I think that as a society, because that is the well known and popularized path, that it also makes it seem like that's the only route to go.
Amanda:That's the only reason why you might quit drinking. And so, therefore, we have this concept that if you look up if you Google, you know, should I quit drinking alcohol, that that indicates you have a problem, and that's not true. You know? It it just isn't true. But it's really hard to shift the stigma around this to around this lifestyle to make it something that could be possible and welcoming for everyone.
Amanda:And that's kind of what I intend to do in the work that I'm focused on is make being alcohol free seem like an accessible, powerful choice no matter which way you'll get at it. And so I think that this idea that if you've Googled or you looked up or considered, like, should I quit drinking alcohol means that you have a problem. No. It could also mean you have an opportunity, and you can just sense that alcohol is getting in the way. And I think that we demonize that question because it's the question that we've been kind of taught to ask, but there's so many different reasons why someone might be asking might be questioning their relationship with alcohol.
Mike:You couldn't have said it better. I mean, if you put everything into a box and you just give it one solution, you know, that also can keep people from moving forward, of course. That was, in my case, the same thing with the way that you answer a specific question. It is such a personal relationship that you have in your own life and your history. And so the answer to that is not a one size fits all either.
Mike:And so I 100% agree with that. And but as it relates to my story, forget about my story. Let's jump into your story. Take us back to the beginning of where you just started because we talked a little bit about where you are. Bring us back to to those days.
Amanda:Yes. So as of today, I've been alcohol free almost seven and a half years, which is wild because that's not what I set out to do when I started this journey. And this journey is something I started kind of on accident because I was in the midst of what I could only describe as an existential crisis. And I kind of was in this space of self discovery. I had been to some new concepts of personal development and kind of new age spirituality that had been very foreign to me, and all of this stuff made sense.
Amanda:It was so exciting. And I was reading self help books, and for the first time, it seemed really inspiring, not some, like, fluffy, you know, stuff that someone was feeding me. And I really was reading these books and thinking, wow. I want the like that these people are describing. And so I started watching Oprah on Super Soul Sunday, and she's having conversations with peep these people, and it only further affirmed, wow.
Amanda:I want the life that these people are living. And one, just as, like, a pedestrian life, like, I wanted that in my everyday, but then I also felt something within me that maybe not everyone will resonate with. But for me specifically, I thought I'm supposed to do what they're doing. Like, I'm supposed to be sitting next to Oprah someday, and I had this, like, bigger vision. But even just on the base level of, I just want my life to be better.
Amanda:I want it to be happy. I wanna feel successful. I wanna feel feel fulfilled. I wanna feel like I'm being my authentic self. And so I started pursuing all of these practices, and I was trying to add all of this positive stuff to my life.
Amanda:So I was going to therapy. I was meditating. I was journaling. I was doing affirmations. I was going on yoga retreats.
Amanda:Like, you name it. I tried it. And, Mike, it just felt like nothing was moving the needle. Like, I would be taking 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. And the 3 steps back, every time I did the math, was always on the weekend.
Amanda:And I was doing this work hard during the week, and then Friday, 5 o'clock hit, and I would go into play hard mode. And I really thought it was fed to me that this was balance. That's what it looked like. Work hard, play hard. You know?
Amanda:Do some good work and live a little. And I couldn't help but keep having this recurring thought that maybe this thing that I was doing on the weekend or maybe and for some of you, maybe it's every evening. You know, I had my process was I didn't drink during the week, but some people do it a little more moderately throughout the week. I was more like, hey, let's just go hard on the weekends. And I realized that it maybe it was this thing that was holding me back.
Amanda:And, you know, there's this really great quote by James Clear who wrote Atomic Habits, and he says, the ultimate form of optimization is elimination. Nothing is more effective than removing the ineffective. And when I heard that, it just kind of clicked. Like, it wasn't about adding more positive things to my life. It might be about removing one thing that was so detrimentally negative, but also very normalized, no one would say it's that negative, maybe that would move the needle.
Amanda:And as soon as I made the commitment to take a break from alcohol, incremental changes started to happen. And every time I elongated that gap in or I I took made that break longer, I started to see more profound things happening. And so it just started to kind of accumulate that it was very obvious that all of the things I was doing wasn't wasn't a waste of time. I was just kind of detracting from the positive attributes I brought into my life by drinking. And the more that I didn't drink, the more that Yeah.
Amanda:For
Mike:Yeah. For sure. Actually, as you're speaking, I'm really curious to know. So a lot of people when when they are thinking, okay, I'm gonna change my relationship. You know, you have multiple routes.
Mike:You can take an extended break. You can say, hey, I'm done. This is it. Like, that's a forever thing, and I just don't wanna go back. Hey, I wanna moderate or cut back.
Mike:You know, was there a point in when you started to assess where you were and where you wanted to be? Did you ever weigh all those options out? Or was it just an immediate, like, this is the route I'm going. I already know it?
Amanda:Oh, I I thought that I was just doing this as an experiment. Let's be very clear. I went into this very naive thinking that if I just take a 30 day break, cool. I'll be, like, a moderate drinker and everything will be good. And not to say that that couldn't happen, but let's be clear.
Amanda:You know, alcohol is a mind altering substance, and I've been drinking for, at this point, at least a decade. For me to for me to now look back and rationalize that I could change that habit and completely change my life in 30 days, it's a little it's a little out there. And so I really started out with, I just wanna do an experiment. I wanna see what this will do, and I would like to be a moderate every now and again, take it or leave it drinker. And, again, I know that there's a lot of different paths, so this is not to say, you know, any other path is wrong, but just what worked for me and what I personally teach is that I wanted a life that was truly magnificent every day, all day.
Amanda:And I started to extend that 30 day break from alcohol because I started to sense at the end of it that this wasn't quite gonna get me where I wanted to go. So I decided I'm gonna go for 90 days. And at the end of 90 days, I felt, wow. I think I'm really starting to scrape the surface here. I don't think I'm ready to to look back or to test the waters yet because I think that I'm really on to something.
Amanda:And I had started to pick up some momentum and and started to see some positive results, not only in the way that I looked and I felt, but kind of in the way that I was showing up for the world. And so I kept going. I went 9 months. I went a year. And by the time I hit that year mark, Mike, the most miraculous things were happening that it felt like everything that I wanted was starting to fall into place.
Amanda:And from that perspective, because my life had gotten so good and let me tell you what. It wasn't, like, rainbows and butterflies. There were still, like, really crummy things that hap that were, like, consequences or things that I was dealing with in my life. They just seemed easier to deal with. And so from that perspective, I thought, why would I go back?
Amanda:I'd made so much progress. Why would I try to tempt fate? I have may I've shown myself that I can show up and do this. And for me, it was about if I can create a life that's so magnificent that alcohol just becomes completely insignificant, then I've done something really well. And that is kind of the belief system that I started to operate under, and that's kind of how I teach as well.
Amanda:And so not that there's anything wrong with moderation. I definitely had that as a goal in the beginning. I just decided I don't wanna live a moderate life. I wanna live a big, bold life, and why try to bring something in that I know kept me from that before?
Mike:Yeah. I love that story. And part of the reason I love that story, we talked before this call is that it's very much similar to the path that I went, you know, like, maybe I'll do 30 days and I would fall back, but then I do 30. And I said, why don't I go 60? And then why don't I go 90?
Mike:And then I did, like, a year and I was pretty much the same as you. It was like, you know, it really just takes that time because the 30 days if we wanna cite the Laue study, which is in between 18 and 256 days, it takes to change a habit and create a new one with 66 being the mean for moderate to moderate complex habit. And depending on your personality, your history, your genetics, you know, a safe assumption would be 60 to 90 days is really when you start to see that change. And I think once you get past that, that's when it's smooth sailing. We had a little bit of a deviation as far as, like, I got to a year and I thought very mindfully, do I wanna start reintroducing that?
Mike:And that was an entirely different journey that I write about in my book. But I'm curious to know, did you have any challenges along the way, and how did you get through those?
Amanda:Oh, yeah. I mean, like I said, it wasn't all rainbows and butterflies. I you know, for me, I think that the thing that got me through some of those challenges was was that I had built up this toolkit of, you know, part of my personal development journey was developing a spiritual practice. So I had started doing a whole bunch of spiritual practices and studies that the way that I've been kind of visualizing it recently is did you ever have, like, the that little Hot Wheels track when you were a kid where you had to pull the car back and then it would it would accelerate forward and go through a loop. And I kinda feel like my yeah.
Amanda:Yeah. They like, it was such a fun little toy, but I kinda feel like my spiritual process and my practices were me, like, pulling the Hot Wheels car back and rubbing it up, and then quitting alcohol was, like, letting go and letting that thing accelerate forward. So it just so happened I'd built up this really massive toolkit that made some of my challenges easier and made the loops may seem not as difficult as they had seemed in previous versions of my life. But, oh my goodness. Yeah.
Amanda:There were absolutely things times and days where I was like, this sucks. This is really hard. And the thing that got me through was just being stubborn because You're right. At this point in time, there was no one saying that you could do this. No one was talking about elective sobriety in the way that I talk about it now.
Amanda:And not to say that, like, I'm I'm certainly not the only one talking about this, but at that time, it was very, very novel.
Mike:It was
Amanda:rough. So I just
Mike:It was rough if there were no other solutions out there, you know, or if they were, they were little known. They were little known solutions. Yep. It was 12 step or you're on your own.
Amanda:Exactly. And I just kinda wanted to prove, like, I can do this. And so I took a route where I would intentionally put myself in kind of compromising positions just to show myself. Like, I can do this. I can check the bingo card.
Amanda:I can go on a sober vacation to an all inclusive resort. I can go to, you know, a wedding or whatever. And I I think it was just grit for me, but that doesn't have to be the way you do it. You know, there are so many people and so many, processes, like, you write about in your book, and so many of us are teaching now that can support you. But for me, because there was no one to hold my hand, I was just muscling through and, like, bound and determined to prove it to myself that I could do it.
Mike:Yeah. That's so good. I and so you wrote this book. It's called Unbottled Potential. And you emphasize really helping women transform their relationship with alcohol.
Mike:What are some of the key messages and strategies that you write about that you wanna share here?
Amanda:I think that one of the things for women is, you know, and men men certainly have this too, and that I think that you can speak to that unique perspective that it's not that different, but the felt sense for women is we've a a lot of us, especially if you're, you know, my age, millennial or above, we've been taught to be good girls. And you this is how you operate. This is how you, you know, check the boxes and live a successful life, and this is what you're supposed to do if you wanna be good, right, and popular, and it's socially acceptable. And I think it's a little different for for younger generations, but they certainly have their own challenges, but we've been living under this kind of guide of just to play a little small, play down a little bit. Like, you can yes.
Amanda:You can achieve your dreams, but don't ruffle too many feathers. And, one of the ways that we've been able to kinda keep ourselves small is with alcohol. Because how could you be as big and as bright and as shiny and as bold as and as successful as you could be if you just you did this one very socially acceptable thing to dull yourself down a little bit? And so I think that women uniquely have experienced this because if you get too big or too successful, then you're the b word or, you know, no one will want to marry you or whatever whatever the pre you know, the perception is. And I think that one of the ways that we've cut ourselves short is through drinking alcohol.
Amanda:And because it's something that's so glamorized and so sexy and so socially acceptable, we've taught ourselves that we need it or we deserve it to survive in this world. And the reality is it's doing nothing but keeping us stuck. And I really just wanna drive that message home, especially to women who are out there wanting to be happy, wanting to be successful, wanting to, like, quote, unquote, have it all, that we have this belief that alcohol is part of that vision, like, having it all, but it's really keeping us stuck and small. And I think that it's really cool to see so many, you know, women, especially that I've been able to help come out of that and realize that the game they they were playing is only a fraction of what they're capable of.
Mike:So with working all these women, what would you say is a recurring theme that you're hearing all the time that you feel that you need to enlighten them? I mean, you just shared some really great info just now. But is there something that people are coming to? Are they hanging on to I don't wanna let it go, or is it something else?
Amanda:Yeah. I mean, a lot of them are. And a lot of you know, there's I I am not personally a mother of of human children, but I I've had dog children, which are very it's a very different philosophy. And one of the things is this mommy wine culture that you need or you deserve it to survive the rigors of motherhood, which I think is just so backwards. No no shame, but it's also so backwards because it actually prevents you from showing up.
Amanda:But in in just any other aspect, I think that the hardest part is that we built it as a tool for connection, and we think that we need this thing to be socially acceptable or, sexually attractive to our partner or potential partner. And so many people have put this as a piece of their social mechanism, and it's really difficult to think of what will I be without it. Will I be dumb? Will I be boring? Will I be anxious?
Amanda:Will people hate me? Will my friends neglect me? Will I be able to go out? And I think that this is just some really negative self talk and some some poorly learned behaviors that we can all get over, and get past and develop new skills and new ways of thinking around. But if you are like me and you've built up your social life believing that alcohol is just part of the gig, it really does take a lot of rewiring to get you to a place where you feel comfortable being a person out in the world without alcohol as a social lubricant.
Amanda:And I think that those are 2 of the most common things that I hear is that as a as a mom, I need it or deserve it, or I have to have this to socialize or cut loose or relax at the end of the day. And, and it's not true. It's not true. And just not because I've seen it in my life, but because I've seen it proven out in 100 of women who I've worked with and supported. And none of them look back and regret not drinking.
Amanda:Even though they think they will at first, none of them do.
Mike:Oh, I hear that all the time. It's this mindset of FOMO that I'm gonna miss out on things or I'm gonna restrict. I can't do this. I can't do that. Yes.
Mike:But if you flip that script to the gain mindset of the abundance mindset of the things that you'll get because you're removing something or cutting back, just both of them function for people. But instead for me, like, oh, I can't have that extra glass of wine or I'm not gonna drink tonight. It's more like, I'm gonna get a great night's sleep tonight. I'm gonna wake up really early tomorrow with clarity. I'm gonna really enjoy my coffee, and I'm probably gonna go for a mountain bike.
Mike:Right? Like, all these things that you would probably not do if you were overindulging. And you could so you gotta flip that script. You know?
Amanda:Yeah. Absolutely. And I think for me too, when I was trying to cut back, what I realized at the end was that even a very small amount of alcohol actually had a tremendously negative effect on me. And that's one of the reasons that I wanted to try total abstinence just to see, could it be as good as I thought? And when I decided that it was just off the table, so many of the things that I had been trying to, like, tweak in order to make work, like my sleep or, like, my productivity, all of a sudden, they were just easier all the time.
Amanda:Not to not to say that they just were completely without effort, but it just wasn't it wasn't as heavy of a lift to get good sleep or have an amazing workout or meet some of my goals. And I think that was such a clear benefit that it felt it felt really natural just to stick to the lifestyle that I was pursuing.
Mike:Yeah. I can identify to not even wanting to go back because let's face it. I mean, whether you're moderating or whether you're at you're not drinking at all, it really it is a toxin. It's a poison. And I remember opening the fridge sometimes during that 1st year.
Mike:And I'd look at it like I visit my parents because we didn't have beer in the house. And I'd see the beer and I'd be like, Yeah, no. I wanna I value my sleep way more than having that beer at that time. And then the other thing about the FOMO idea that we that I mentioned is this idea that another person that I interviewed with said try the sober test, which is go do something that you typically would do drinking and see if you enjoy it because there is a very good possibility that you go and you're like, actually, I'm not really missing out on anything because I wait and it was boring.
Amanda:Yeah. Yeah. You know, I I have this kind of line that I like to drop that is, if it's not fun without alcohol, it's probably just not fun. And that's a really hard fact for some of us to face that some of the things we've been doing, we've been doing them because we've actually been making ourselves, like, dumb to the fact that they're kind of boring, and we've just been doing it because we were unaware, blissfully unaware, that it wasn't that fun. And I found so much more joy in figuring out what I actually find is fun that I don't need to be cognitively, dulled down to enjoy.
Amanda:And that, like, having this childlike blissful joy doing things is so much better, and I remember all of it with and I don't feel like shit the next day, which are all, like, extra bonuses.
Mike:Yeah. And it also like, if you go and you do it and you do actually like it, and it's usually something that you drinking at, you can say, I'm not gonna drink tonight or maybe I'm just gonna have one drink. But you can go knowing that you're gonna have a good time whether you do or don't because you actually enjoy that activity.
Amanda:Yeah. That's the other thing too. It's not like you're gonna realize everything you've been doing is miserable. Sometimes you're gonna be pleasantly surprised that, oh, I actually like this thing even more when I'm not drinking. And that's a really cool feeling to have too.
Amanda:It's just kind of like debunking your own internal myths.
Mike:Yeah. Exactly. So in your book, you talk about something called metaphysical perspective. I I really wanna learn about this from my own genuine interest. So can you talk a little bit about that?
Amanda:Yes. So because I had this really established spiritual practice before I quit drinking, one of the perspectives that I took when I started to kind of understand how alcohol affects us was from a metaphysical perspective and from an energetic perspective. And so I think your work is brilliant because you really look at the neuroscience and the the the the facts. And while there is a lot of factual scientific information around metaphysics and things like manifestation, it's not as well known and widely accepted. But when you think about that the, you know, the concept of energy, everything has energy, and we've all gone into a place and been like, wow.
Amanda:The energy here is great. This is high vibe. I love this. And we've all been to a place that we're like, oh, the the energy here is not that. This is a low vibe.
Amanda:And I know that those both of those words and concepts have kind of, like, caught caught some, you know, different different, people have different perceptions on them in social media, and maybe they become a little popularized and maybe are a little woo woo. And so what I would explain energy as is it's an investment you make in yourself. And every investment you make either has a positive or a negative energetic, gain. And no matter how you look at it, the energetic frequency of alcohol is negative. It's going to dull your energetic presence.
Amanda:And if you want to live a high vibrational life where you're happy and you're successful and you're doing things that are of a higher magnitude, it would benefit you to do more high vibrational things and less low vibrational things. And when it comes to kind of the metaphysics of alcohol, you know, when we think about the things that we want and desire in our life, most of those things are high vibrational. They're up, you know, at a very high level, and when you pull yourself down in your own energetic vibration, you make it more difficult to get to that thing. And I imagine, like, a lot of people listening are incredibly high achievers, so they can will their way into their achievements and into their desires. But I think most people would be very, very surprised how much easier it was to have the life that they want if they would actually just get on the same vibration as their desires.
Amanda:And one of the ways that you can do that is, of course, do personal, you know, growth and healing work. But if you're doing that thing like I was doing and you're doing the 2 steps forward of the personal growth work and then 3 steps back of alcohol in that math equation, it's still gonna be difficult. And so from a perspective of metaphysics, it's just kind of an equation that you're bringing yourself down and taking yourself further and further away from the life that you desire when you drink alcohol.
Mike:Oh, well, you'd be surprised to know I am a big believer in low vibration, high vibration, and in manifestation principles. And in fact, I included that in my book. And, you know, even the principle of, like, resisting resisting and selling yourself, I'm not gonna drink tonight. I'm not gonna drink tonight. You're you're sending out the message.
Mike:I'm gonna drink tonight. You know? I really do believe in that. I really believe that if I can't do it, you know, saying those things really matter and and writing down your purpose and actually believing it and putting intention to it. So I'd really love to dig in more.
Mike:So tell me tell me, like, maybe one example of a of a strategy when it comes to that that you would put into practice with someone.
Amanda:Yeah. So I think that one of the things that is so powerful about being alcohol free is that you realize that some of the dreams that you've been are not necessarily your dreams, but dreams that have been kind of imprinted on you through society. So your parents or what was, you know, popular or good. And so we started to pursue some paths that are we're probably good at, but maybe they're not our intended path. And I think one of the the most beautiful parts of being alcohol free and being, you know, also as someone in you don't have to be spiritual to do this.
Amanda:Like, let's be clear. But it is really great to have that clarity. And one of the ways that we get clarity is through meditation or journaling and also just having a clear mind. So if you can couple having a clear mind, so being free from alcohol, with really tapping into your intuition and your authentic self, the you that existed before the world taught you who to be and before you took on all of these, these personas that sometimes alcohol magnifies, wow, you would be really surprised about what it is that your dream life actually looks like. And so one of the most simple processes I always work on with my clients is how can we get you to a point of actual clarity to figure out what, you know, you could look at it as a as your dream life or your zone of genius is another way to explain it?
Amanda:How can we get you to be living and operating in those zones all the time versus doing what a lot of us are doing, which is, these these terms are also, from a book called The Big Leap in Your Zone of Excellence, which is something that you're good at, but it's not something it's something other people could do. And your zone of genius is something you're uniquely qualified for. And I want more people to be living in that zone, and it's so much easier to get there once you have that clarity that you get from being alcohol free. And so that's just a very basic level that you could use from a spiritual or a non spiritual perspective.
Mike:Ah, it's so good. I I actually have not gotten your book yet, but I am intending to read it. And I can't wait to dig into all the other practices you have because, I actually I can't wait to get my book out to you because I think both of us can learn from each other and, and anyone listening to this right now. So you talk about sobriety as your superpower. You already talked a little bit about that, but if somebody just outright asked you, how is it your superpower?
Mike:How would you answer? Mhmm.
Amanda:You know, just in life in general, it's a competitive edge that cannot be matched because it's something most people aren't willing to do. And when you look at the fact that most people are drinking and they're unwilling to look at their relationship with alcohol and they're unwilling to stop, you know, maybe stop drinking or abstain, If you can do something that most people are unwilling to do, you will inevitably have a life that most people are unable to have. And and when I think about it, it's so profound. And that's not to say, like, comp like, competition. That's not to say, like, oh, well, you know, you wanna snag this corporate job over this other person.
Amanda:Well, yeah, you can do that, of course. But if you just wanna live a life that is happy and successful and more fulfilled than the average person, you have to stop doing what average people are doing. And that's not to be meant to be a dig. It's just like if you look at what the masses are doing and you choose to do something slightly different that could have massive benefits on every level of your existence, mind, body, spirit, and otherwise, you're just setting yourself up for this tremendous success. And I just can't speak enough about how it has elevated your I just can't speak enough about how it has elevated my life and how I've watched it elevate the lives of others, and I'm I'm sure that you can agree that it's cut it's somewhat of a superpower because it just sets you apart from what everyone else is capable of.
Mike:It's getting a little bit scary, some of the things that you're saying that I've actually thought through as well, and that is, like, the comparison part. So I, you know, I was always high achieving. You know? Get up, eat right, just put in the hours, really always set high goals. But when it came to, like, drinking in the evenings, I'd be like, well, so and so does it.
Mike:And look at all these people doing happy hour every single night. And then one day it did click, and I said, what? I don't compare myself to the average in every aspect of my life. And I'm, like, writing off what I'm doing here. And Yeah.
Mike:That was, like, such an epiphany. You know?
Amanda:It is. And it's not again, it's not if you even just wanna be better than the past version of yourself, you have to change behaviors so that you're not doing the same things the past version of you were what was doing. So even if even on that, like, very self centered level, it's such a game changer for your life.
Mike:Yeah. And, I mean, and it actually reaches across, like, whatever your goals are. Not everybody's goals are gonna be, like, I wanna give it up completely. I still wanna have, like, 2 beers watching a football game on a Saturday, and that's totally fine. They're going from the average of, like, hitting happy hour 5 times a week, and then they move to that.
Mike:You know, they really are stepping up their game. So, you know, a lot of the things that we're talking about just transcends across whatever your goals are. And so I wanna thank you for coming here today. Before we go though, I wanna talk about tell us something that you're really excited, enthusiastic about that you're working on right now.
Amanda:Oh my goodness. You know, one of the things that has been popping up more recently is a lot of people have been coming to me because they've main they've checked the box of abstinence. Right? They've gotten to that point, and they know they cannot drink, but there's this whole, like, well, what's next? And I think that's the area where I really excel and, you know, why I wrote my book is because what's next is your fullest potential, and what can you do after you've removed this thing from your life to really accelerate your life forward?
Amanda:How can you heal and fill in the gaps that alcohol used to be kind of, you know, filling for you? And how can you get how can you get caught back up to speed in the places where alcohol has stunted your growth. And I think that that's really a unique perspective because there's so there's a ton of programs to help you quit drinking, but then there's not anything specifically for what's next and how do you accelerate your life. And I think that's my my sweet spot, especially in working with the women who I work with is I want you to be living your best life no matter what whatever that means for you. Maybe it means becoming a better, you know, mother, sister, daughter, partner.
Amanda:Maybe it means, you know, starting a business, growing your business, climbing the ladder corporate ladder, jumping jobs, whatever it means for you, being healthier, being more fit, being more emotionally resilient. I think that's a big one that we all miss. You know, for me, one of the things was having a more spiritually attuned life, and none of that just seemed as accessible as a drinker. And so if we can take that solid foundation of, yeah, you've checked the box of being alcohol free, but what can we put on top of that foundation to make your life really rad and badass? I just love doing that work.
Amanda:And so that's one of the things I'm really excited about is is shifting some of my focus to working with people who have checked the box, but they want more.
Mike:Yes. Leveling up. Keep growing. Leveling up. Yeah.
Mike:That is amazing. I I love to hear that. So if anybody's listening and wants to connect with you, what's the best channel to to do that, and where can they find you?
Amanda:Yes. Well, any you can find me anywhere on the Internet. I'm at Amanda Kuda, and my last name is k u d a, but I'm most significantly on Instagram. So if you wanna pop over there, stalk around a little, say hello, I would love to meet you.
Mike:Oh, that's great. Well, Amanda, thanks so much for coming on today.
Amanda:Thank Thank you so much, Mike. It was great to talk to you.
Mike:Thanks. Bye.
Mike:This podcast is brought to you by Sunnyside, the number one alcohol moderation platform, having helped 100 of thousands of people cut out more than 13,000,000 drinks since 2020. And in fact, an independent study showed that Sunnyside reduced alcohol consumption by an average of 30% in 90 days. And as one of our members shared, Sunnyside helps me stay mindful of my drinking habits. It's not super restrictive. So if I'm craving a glass of wine with dinner, I just track it and I move on with my week.
Mike:If you could benefit from drinking a bit less and being more mindful of when and how much you drink, head on over to sunnyside.co to get a free 15 day trial. You'll get access to everything that we offer, including tracking and planning tools, coaching from our experts, a vibrant community of people just like you, and the motivation and advice to stay on track with your health goals, all with no pressure to quit. That's sunnyside
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