Why Overthinking Makes You Drink (and How to Break the Loop)

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Welcome to Journey to the Sunny Side, the podcast where we have thoughtful conversations to explore the science of habits, uncover the secrets to mindful living, and of course, your own mindful drinking journey. This podcast is brought to you by Sunny Side, the number one alcohol moderation platform. And if you could benefit from drinking a bit less, head on over to sunnyside.co to get a free fifteen day trial. I'm your host, Mike Hardinbrook, published author, neuroscience enthusiast and habit change expert. Welcome back to Journey to the Sunny Side.

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I'm Mike Hardinbrook. And today I want to talk about something that many of us deal with. Now, not everyone deals with this, but those that do, they know exactly what I'm talking about because I'm one of those people, and that is the idea of rumination. Rumination was a big issue for me when it came to my drinking. And if you're unsure what I'm talking about, it's those looping thoughts that run over and over again.

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What you said last weekend, whether you embarrassed yourself, why can't I get ahold of this, I shouldn't have drank in that extra drink last night. Everything about it feels like you're sorting it out. And in reality, the truth is is that it's draining your mental energy. It's raising your stress hormones, and it's wiring your brain to crave relief. And often, in the exact same thing that we can't stop thinking about, finding that relief in the form of pouring a drink.

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So if you've ever found yourself ruminating around your drinking, this episode's for you. And think the expression a dog with its bone. It can't let it go. And there's a difference between rumination and reflection. So rumination isn't healthy reflection.

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Reflection actually leads somewhere, and rumination just sort of spins around and around. It's in your brain. And it happens because it's in this default mode network, the set in your brain's region that lights up when you're not actively focused on a task, and it's meant to be kind of this background self check system. And I'm gonna get technical for one second here. So brain imaging studies, they see areas like the medial prefrontal cortex and the posterior cingulate cortex start to fire.

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So that's the network where it runs scenarios, it evaluates your social standing, and it tries to predict outcomes. And dating back to when life was about scanning the environment for predators, but now it just locks in these social slip ups about money, about family, stress, you name it, all the modern stuff in an unhealthy way. It's really about because that's the way the human brain is built. When you're not deeply engaged in something, your mind automatically starts scanning for what could go wrong. So neurologically, it's looking for threats that keep you alive.

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But your amygdala, that's the part of your brain that processes threats, doesn't really know the difference between being chased by a lion and something replaying this awkward conversation that you had or that extra drink that you had. It just knows that you're dwelling on something that feels risky. So it signals to your body, you know, tighten up, be ready. And that's what starts to spike your cortisol, and it actually slows your digestion and moves blood to your muscles. So there's these thoughts are actually moving physically inside of you.

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And that's why after maybe twenty minutes of ruminating, you might feel tight. You know, your chest, your stomach, your jaw might even be tight. So this is a psychological and physical reaction going on related to ruminating thoughts. And this is where it gets a little bit sneaky. The longer that you're stuck in these ruminating thoughts of guilt, of shame, maybe future fear and worries, the more your brain looks for a way out.

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And that's tied directly to your dopamine system, and your brain wants to feel this relief. It wants to feel a way to shut off that constant low level threat. And I had a conversation with doctor Jason Kilmer, and he has done some research showing that just thinking about alcohol, not drinking it, just thinking about it, lights up your brain's reward circuitry, especially when drinking has solved that problem in the past. And that dopamine starts flowing in anticipation, and that's why after maybe a half an hour of ruminating on thoughts, even if it's something that you want to avoid, suddenly a drink sounds exactly what you need even if it's five minutes earlier that it wasn't on your mind or it was actually the opposite. So rumination actually can prime you up for drinking and not actually help even though maybe you're focused on never doing it again.

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And it's not because you're consciously choosing it, but it's because your brain is trying to solve a perceived problem. And sometimes most of us don't even realize that we're doing it, and it might even just happen so often that it feels normal. Here's how to catch it. So if you're replaying the same scenario multiple times a day, the same maybe feelings of guilt or regret or, like, what ifs. Those are the worst.

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Or maybe you're locked into this why question. Why did I do that? Why can't I get this under control? Why does this always seem to happen? Or you lose time.

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Twenty minutes pass by, and you're still in that same mental loop. I know for me, the easiest way to catch myself was that I was, like, super ADD when this was happening to me. Like, somebody would be talking to me, and at the same time, I'm replaying these things in my head, and it's like, I'm just nodding like I heard them. And then, also, if you notice that your body's tight, your shoulders are hunched, maybe your breathing is more shallow, or your stomach feels a little bit more in knots or tight. Those are things to look for.

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And the longer that you're there, the more that your nervous system buys into the story that you're under threat even though it's happening all in your head. So what actually breaks this loop? How do we step out? And most of the time, like many problems, we just try to think our way out of it. We'll swap that thought for a positive one.

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Sometimes that will work. Sometimes it'll work short term, but often it just keeps you stuck in the same circuits. Thinking your way out of it is a pretty hard thing to do. Now there are actually three approaches that are more effective, and they hit different levels. You have cognitive, you have behavioral, and you have psychological.

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And that's actually how you short circuit rumination. So number one is switch from why to how. So why questions, they trap you in blame and overanalysis. Why did I do that? Why does this keep happening?

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This keeps you going in perpetuum. Switch to how. So how do I handle this better next time? How do I want to show up? That subtle shift changes the part of your brain that's engaged.

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It moves it actively from the default circuits into a different part of your prefrontal cortex, which is more about planning and problem solving. It also changes some of the chemicals, so it gives you a slight bump in dopamine. So when you're chasing a solution, you're not so much moving in this circle around and around. Okay. Number two is contain it with a timer.

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If there is something that really needs your attention, you know, you don't have to push it all away, but you do need to give it a boundary. So maybe set five to ten minutes on your phone and let your mind go where it wants to go. But when that timer's up, it's done for the day. So, obviously, when we put a constraint on it in regard to time, it's gonna prevent you from spiraling from maybe five to ten minutes then into maybe an hour or an entire day or even worse. And it also trains your brain that overthinking isn't an endless project that you can do as long as you want.

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We're gonna put a constraint on it. And in fact, some work by doctor Judd Brewer on habit loops and anxiety shows that containment like this actually weakens the mental habit over time. Okay. Number three is use a psychological reset to calm your nervous system. And this is one of the most overlooked or discarded strategies, but I rely on it heavily.

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And one of the fastest way to interrupt ruminating thoughts is something called a psychological sigh. Now Andrew Huberman has been making this more popular. There were other names for this before, but I'll give it to you simply. It's simply taking two short inhales through the nose and then a long exhale through the mouth. Now do that two to three times.

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That's all you need to do. And this offloads carbon dioxide. It lowers your heart rate, and it signals to your nervous system to stand down. It works really good, and it's very easy to do anywhere, anytime. And I think those are the best strategies when you can do them anywhere, anytime.

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Another one that can pretty much be done with a little bit of quiet space is box breathing. So breathe in for four, hold for four, breathe out for four, hold for four. And I always imagine a box a line going around drawing a box for each of those segments. And this regulates your carbon dioxide and oxygen levels, which then calms your amygdala and slows down your default mode circuits. And while doing things will get your mind off things, that always helps.

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This isn't really about distraction, though. It's actually about shifting the state of your nervous system, which means that you're dialing down the physical platform that rumination needs to keep going. Okay. Here's your challenge for the week. When you notice yourself stuck replaying something, whether it's around guilt or worry, maybe you're predicting the future or failures, two things.

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First, use the physiological sigh or Braque's breathing for about a minute. Then let your body get the message that there is no immediate threat. And then switch from the why, you know, why do I keep doing this, to the how. So how do I wanna handle this the next time? How do I take care of myself right now?

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And that's gonna bring you closer to be able to break the loop faster and train your brain to look for solutions instead of problems. And remember, rumination, it actually it's a tricky one because it makes you feel like you're doing important work. Like, if I could just think my way out of this hard enough, I'll be able to fix it. But you need to know that it actually, it keeps your body on alert, and it sets you up for the same loop that actually could be driving the thing that you want to avoid, and in this case, drinking. So if you're finding rumination being a problem, try this for a week.

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I guarantee it's gonna help. Share with somebody that maybe is constantly replaying the same things in their head. And thanks for hanging out with me this Monday. I hope you have a beautiful week, and cheers to your mindful drinking journey. This podcast is brought to you by Sunnyside, the number one alcohol moderation platform, having helped hundreds of thousands of people cut out more than 13,000,000 drinks since 2020.

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And in fact, an independent study showed that Sunnyside reduced alcohol consumption by an average of 30% in ninety days. And as one of our members shared, Sunnyside helps me stay mindful of my drinking habits. It's not super restrictive. So if I'm craving a glass of wine with dinner, I just track it and I move on with my week. If you could benefit from drinking a bit less and being more mindful of when and how much you drink, head on over to sunnyside dot co to get a free fifteen day trial.

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You'll get access to everything that we offer, including tracking and planning tools, coaching from our experts, a vibrant community of people just like you, and the motivation and advice to stay on track with your health goals, all with no pressure to quit. That's sunnyside.co.

Creators and Guests

Mike Hardenbrook
Host
Mike Hardenbrook
#1 best-selling author of "No Willpower Required," neuroscience enthusiast, and habit change expert.
Why Overthinking Makes You Drink (and How to Break the Loop)
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