The False Summit: When One Is Never Enough — Part 1
Hey, everyone. Welcome back to Journey to the Sunnyside. I'm Mike Hardinbrook, and on this ten minute Monday, I wanna talk about something that I used to say all the time. I don't just want one beer. I want a six pack.
Speaker 1:And, of course, I'd be joking around and people would laugh and so would I. But honestly, underneath that joke was something real, was that one, never felt like it was enough. So today, it kicks off a short two part series that I'm gonna run called when one is never enough. So the first episode, we're gonna look at why this happens, why the first drink feels like an invitation to keep going, and why the satisfaction that we're chasing often already happened before we even notice. So I probably don't need to tell you that first drink.
Speaker 1:It always feels like it's leading somewhere. You take that first sip. Maybe you feel relaxed. Your brain quiets down a little bit. You kinda just your shoulders drop and you kick back.
Speaker 1:But it's not even the alcohol yet at that point. It's the signal that the day is over and that you can finally loosen up your grip on whatever the day's stress is or whatever is going on in your life. But then maybe you finish that glass of wine, that beer, or that cocktail, whatever is your favorite, and your brain whispers to yourself, hey. You know what? Let's keep this going.
Speaker 1:This feels good. But then suddenly, you're feeling like you're just getting this started because the best parts are still ahead. But here's the truth, and I missed this for years. The best part, it already happened. It's that first sip, that feeling of relaxing, that feeling of, alright, I'm gonna let things go and just kinda settle in and enjoy this, that tiny moment of release.
Speaker 1:And then everything after that, which this kills me to this day, it was just me chasing that feeling that had already arrived. Let me make a little comparison. And if you're a hiker, you'll totally get this, but you'll still follow along. And, of course, I talk about my mountain biking and my hiking, so I'm gonna go there. So if you've ever hiked a mountain, there's something called a false summit.
Speaker 1:So you think that you've reached the top. You're looking at it. I'm almost there. But, actually, once you get there, the real peak is still, like, maybe even miles away. And that's what drinking can feel like, and it did for me.
Speaker 1:That first drink, it gave me that lift, I thought, ah, you know, this is it. But that peak, it kept moving further away. So I'd keep climbing that one beer after another beer, and then I'd be waiting for that perfect point to get to, but that never came. And so by the time that I realized it wasn't coming, which seldom I even realized it at all, I was already, like, sliding downhill into foggier territory. And it's not like I got totally wasted.
Speaker 1:I just kept believing that the next drink would finally lock in that, you know, sweet spot. I'll be in my zone. But it honestly just never did. And over time, this starts to change, especially when you drink more often. That idea of enough, it starts to change.
Speaker 1:You start measuring satisfaction by volume, as in how much you drink, instead of the actual experience. So one beer feels good, but you know what? Two must feel twice as good. Right? And as crazy as that sounds when you step out of this, that rationale makes total sense.
Speaker 1:And when it doesn't, those two beers feel twice as good, you kind of move into, well, maybe three is gonna do it for me. But when people keep drinking, they're not actually enhancing the good feelings. They're trying to get back to something that has already passed. And that was me. I was chasing the moment that had already come and went.
Speaker 1:So as I mentioned, there's always that brief window when everything kinda just feels right when you have that drink. You know, you feel relaxed, you feel connected, maybe you feel a little warm inside. That's not for everyone, and I don't want this to be reliant on it. But the truth is sometimes it hits like that, and that's the moment that you wanted all along. But because we're wired to keep moving, especially around alcohol, we roll right past it because we're like, this is great.
Speaker 1:I want more of it. And I used to think that that magic was still coming. And in fact, sometimes I'd skip from one drink to two drinks so quickly that you might as well have just combined them as one giant drink. Now I realize that the magic was that moment, but I missed it every single time. And here's the thing, we grow up seeing alcohol tied to more.
Speaker 1:More laughter, more fun, more connection, but no one really shows us the part where more turns into less. Or if I wanted to flip that around to say less is more, and that's one of the most important phrases that I've learned in a lot of ways in my life. See, our brains link that first spark of pleasure to the drink and not the state that we're in, so we assume that the way to get more of that spark is to keep drinking. Pretty simple. But what makes that first drink feel so good isn't the alcohol, it's the contrast.
Speaker 1:So let's get into that. Maybe you've been stressed all day. Maybe you've just been looking forward to having a drink, and that first sip on a dime signals some relief, and that's a big punctuation mark at the end of a long sentence. So what you actually wanted wasn't more alcohol. It was less pressure, maybe less thoughts, maybe euphoria, maybe just to feel good, maybe to celebrate.
Speaker 1:Whatever the reason, there was a why behind what you were doing. And a lot of times that comes right when you pour that drink. And because alcohol brings relief fast, your brain is going to mistake that as a tool for the goal that you're seeking, for the why that you're wanting that drink. So then, and I did, you double down on that tool, but you miss the goal. You miss the actual thing that happened.
Speaker 1:Okay. I said sort of the same thing twice, but for different reasons. And now I want to get a little bit more into the cost of this Because the more I chased that feeling, the more I dulled it. The buzz, it flattened out. And it gave way from feeling good to just trying to maintain something that I would never get.
Speaker 1:And then I sometimes would end up blurry, and definitely the mornings would be hurting. So that's the myth. It promises like this finish line when you're having drinks, but every time that you run towards it, it just keeps moving further out. And here's the thing. In life, this is also the case.
Speaker 1:You notice it in places once you start looking for it. You know, one more scroll, one more episode, one more bite of, you know, that cookie or cake or whatever it is. I'm almost there just to get that sweet tooth, to get that drink I was looking for, to get that relief or whatever it is. But completion shouldn't be the destination. It's a moment of recognition.
Speaker 1:So one night I ran an experiment and I tried something different. I poured a drink and I told myself that I could have as many as I wanted to that night. But halfway through the first one, I had to pause and notice how I felt. Halfway through. And then I realized, you know what?
Speaker 1:I already kind of felt what I came for, and I didn't even finish that drink. And it wasn't perfect. It wasn't like that huge buzz I was kinda looking for, that euphoria, that rushing in, but it was just enough. And I remember that moment. And I was relaxed, and I was getting that feeling that I actually was saying why I wanted to drink.
Speaker 1:I just wanted to kick back, feel relaxed, and have a drink. And I stopped and paused and realized I was getting that. And that urge for another didn't vanish, but it did lose some of its power because now I had some proof in my mind that this arrival moment happens a lot earlier than I thought. I didn't have to basically, you know, drink a beer fast, move to the second one to really start feeling good, that I could get some of that relief right away. And that's really where I'm trying to bring you to is that this is where the awareness begins, catching that point when enough, it might be quiet, but if you pay attention, it appears.
Speaker 1:And when I look back, the best parts of drinking, they never came from the alcohol itself. I used to think it did, but that was not the best part. That's not what I was seeking. They came from laughter, from relief, from shared experiences. And when I was chasing this more and more and more kind of attitude and I I'm not talking like off the rails, you know, running, chugging.
Speaker 1:I'm just talking like going out, having drinks with friends, but always kinda thinking, like, let's get another round. Let's get another round. And that really stopped me from being present in those moments. So I slipped from enjoying a night with friends more about, like, managing my buzz and making sure that I was having enough. And that was less connecting and more calculating on the drinking.
Speaker 1:And, honestly, that wasn't the alcohol's fault. It was the belief that I thought I had to keep drinking a certain amount to amplify the fun that I was having in the moment instead of just stopping and noticing it. So when I look back at that dumb thing that I'd say, you know, I don't want one beer. I want a six pack. Of course, the number is different, but the biggest change isn't the number.
Speaker 1:And the reason I don't need the six beers is because I'm actually looking for the satisfaction, and that's not tied to the number of beers that I have. And I don't have to chase it behind six beers because now I know what to look for and what it feels like and what I'm seeking. And that's the real reward. So this week, try and catch that moment, that one where you already start to feel what you were seeking in that first drink. And try and stay there instead of chasing it after those six beers that I mentioned or the next false summit.
Speaker 1:And you don't have to change anything else. Just try and look for it and notice it and remember it. And that's where the awareness starts. Okay, that's it for this week. Next week on part two, we're going to look inward at the two sides of you that show up around alcohol and how understanding them can change everything about what enough really means.
Speaker 1:Thanks for hanging out with me today. If you got anything out of this episode, please rate and review on whatever podcast platform you're listening to. I hope you have a beautiful week and cheers to your mindful drinking journey.
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