How Sunnyside Helped Charlie Break a 40-Year Drinking Habit at 71
Welcome to Journey to the Sunny Side, the podcast where we have thoughtful conversations to explore the science of habits, uncover the secrets to mindful living, and of course, your own mindful drinking journey. After four decades of drinking, Charlie didn't think he'd ever stop until a health scare changed everything. At 71, he turned to Sunnyside as a way to start exploring a new path. Just two weeks in, he decided to quit entirely. One year later, Charlie is not only alcohol free, he's thriving.
Speaker 1:In this episode, he shares what finally made it click, why Sunnyside's support still matters even after quitting, and what he's learned about change, identity, and living with clarity. Alright, Charlie. Thanks for coming on today.
Speaker 2:Hi, Mike. Pleasure.
Speaker 1:Well, this is gonna be a fun conversation, and let's start with a quick intro. Why don't you tell us about yourself? Maybe where you live, what you're into, what life looks like for you today?
Speaker 2:Sure. Those are provoking questions. I'm I'm 71, about to be 72. I live in Plainfield, New Jersey. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.
Speaker 2:I've lived in New Jersey for quite a while. I'm married. I have two beautiful daughters and a lovely wife who you just saw actually when we were trying to get the sound to work. I I have a ton of interest. I've had, I'll say, an interesting life.
Speaker 2:It's been interesting to me. I've done a lot. I the thing that leaps to my mind is I have, a backpacking group that I've been going out west to the Wind Rivers in Wyoming since the seventies, really since college. And those are five of my very closest friends, guys, and we've had a series of adventures out there. And I've also been hiking in the Adirondacks.
Speaker 2:So I'm sort of outdoor oriented. Not sort of. I'm I'm a big outdoorsman. Okay. I've I've done a lot.
Speaker 2:I consider myself to have been very privileged, in that I come from a wonderful family, with a long history in in The United States. Privileged in the sense that I've gotten to do a lot that a lot of people don't, you know,
Speaker 1:you know, obviously here on the podcast, we talk about people and their histories and their current journey when it comes to mindful drinking, and part of your history will also include that. So you've undergone some amazing transformations recently that we're gonna get into. But before we do, why don't you describe life before you started to reevaluate alcohol?
Speaker 2:Daily drinking, often heavy drinking. Not to the point of blacking out or falling down, but, you know, by any definition that I've read, heavy drinking. I I was good at it. I was a good drinker. It was sort of part of everything I did, I realize now.
Speaker 2:It was a factor in almost every social occasion. I started to get I became more aware of the fact that I kinda needed to drink. And then I had a series of sort of health event. I'm I'm sort of skipping to the end. But I and I I could detail, you know, more about the drinking than I did.
Speaker 2:It was social. I'm a pretty gregarious person, although I'm shy and insecure in a lot of ways. So that was the necessary social grease that I needed to be, that blabber mouth that I really am. So I guess I just became aware that this was controlling my life, and I had some health events. I had a pretty serious, you know, cardio event, and I think that's gotta be what caused it.
Speaker 2:That and I smoked for a million years, but I quit that back in 02/2007. Same way I quit alcohol. Just cold. So I that's what happened. I, googled, help with drinking, something like that one day in Google, and Sunnyside popped up, and here I am sober and dry three hundred and forty six days later.
Speaker 2:Yes. So I'm coming up on the year mark. It's been a revelation to me. I'm skipping ahead here, I suppose.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Let's get into that. Let's let's talk about, you know, you had many years, decades of, you know, nightly drinking, it sounds like. And I mean, I can certainly relate because I started out social in college. It moved into sort of like the thing to unwind occasionally in my professional career, which then progressed both in frequency and amount just because of default.
Speaker 1:That's what happens to a lot of people. So, I can certainly relate to what you're saying there. Also on the social side of things, you know. Well, sometimes it's social and sometimes it's not, you know. During that process, over these many years, was there a time where you questioned it or was it really the, you know, one specific moment that made you start to to really say I need to make a change?
Speaker 2:That's a great question. And so my thinking about it some more, just emphasizing what I said before, it was really part of everything I did. So, it was part of the sailing scene. You know, there's a big post, you know, regatta drinkathon that goes on. It's those kinds of people, who who I was hanging out with, who drank a lot.
Speaker 2:Pretty social crowd. It was part of squash. It was part of backpacking. We took, you know, pints of whiskey, actually quarts of whiskey, to be honest, into the woods with us when we could ill afford the extra poundage. It was just part of the warp and woof fabric of my life, so I didn't really think about it.
Speaker 2:Interestingly, I didn't drink in high school. I was one of the few people, at my high school who didn't drink. I don't know why. My parents were pretty strict. I was under their thumb, not in a repressive way, but just the pressure of meeting that standard, did not include drinking.
Speaker 2:So I grew up in a teetotaling family, really. I got away from that. But it always You know? It
Speaker 1:doesn't even surprise me that much because, you know, I've done so many of these interviews that I've come to realize that everyone's personal journey with it is like, there are definitely shared experience and shared roots, but there's also such an untraditional way to it. So many people maybe went the route I did, which started early and it progressed. Some people didn't even start drinking until they were like in their 30s or 40s. Some people even, you know, and so like your experience that, hey, I didn't really even drink in high school. It's not all that unsurprising.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I mean and I think, once I, you know, went to college, it was just part of the grease that allowed me to kinda get out of my own self. Bookish, nerd, insecure in a lot of ways. And it just kind of went from there. So your question was, though, did I have a sort of voice in my head?
Speaker 2:And I would say the answer to that is yes, occasionally. It kept it kept me in bounds, I think. It kept me from really getting worse than I was, and I wasn't great. So I think that's what gave me the strength. It was sort of reconnecting with that, but also a mature realization, you know, that life was short and I didn't have any time to waste.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I mean, that's that's one of the hard parts of being sort of in this gray category is that it's it's, you know, there's a book that I've read on relationships, like, long time ago when I was, like, in college, and it was too too good to leave and too bad to to stay. And it sorta almost feels like there's that middle ground, you know, with this. It's just it's just you're in this middle spot where maybe it's not. You don't know what to do.
Speaker 1:So I think that's why it can go on for so long.
Speaker 2:That's well said. I and I'm I love that title. That that sums up a lot for me. And I think, you know, the the clarion call for me, the bell that went off was, you know, oh, you're you're 71, and you have a heart condition. That's Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's not a good combo. And it's time for this to be over. So I I think, you know, other people were in my group were much more disciplined than me, you know, only drank on weekends, whatever that means. And I always thought I I looked at that example and said, that's probably a good thing. But I never I never really made the switch.
Speaker 2:It was just force of habit almost. It was it was I'm not quite sure. I still I'm still figuring out how I got to where I am and why. But I've had a number of revelations in this past nearly a year that have been, I'll say, life altering Yeah. For the better, you know, all all better.
Speaker 1:Let let's get into that in a minute, but I wanna talk about let's take us back to okay. You had this physical scare and you're saying, Now it's time to make a change. What did step one look like for you there?
Speaker 2:Step one, honestly, was looking for help. And I I wanted advice on how to change what I was doing. And so I hit on Sunnyside, and I I I kinda latched onto it. It was like the the worm in front of me if I were a fish, you know, and I bit it. Yeah.
Speaker 2:There there could have been other bait somewhere else, but it it didn't matter. So I I latched onto that. What
Speaker 1:were you hoping to get from that when you found Sunnyside?
Speaker 2:I don't know. That's a great question. I'm not sure I know the answer to that. And I'm not sure I had any hopes that I could articulate other than I knew I needed help. And I didn't even know what help looked like.
Speaker 2:So I wasn't seeking a specific course of action, really. And Sunnyside agreed with me. I'm not sorry for the commercial. But it was the tracking and the accountability. I mean, the first day I started, I've never not, done that.
Speaker 2:And I'm it's I'm a little bit like that. So, I'm a little bit compulsive that way. So that that helped me. It it fed right into, I think, both what I needed and what I was amenable to. And it could have been something else.
Speaker 2:I don't know, because I didn't try anything else. So I hope I'm getting out where you're headed.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Let let me let's talk about the fact so you Sunnyside drew you in the tracking, the planning, and just giving it some thought that you'd never done before. And right now, you said that you've gone three hundred and twenty plus days on your way to one year completely.
Speaker 2:I've basically three weeks left for a year.
Speaker 1:Amazing. I love it. Something to celebrate, certainly. And
Speaker 2:I'm gonna have a chocolate cake for sure.
Speaker 1:That sounds amazing. So but, you know, what's interesting is that you've decided to go alcohol free. When you started with Sunnyside, did you have that plan in mind?
Speaker 2:No. So for the first twelve days, I drank six and was dry the other six, but I kept it to two. I think one day I had three drinks. And then I somehow I the the day before I quit, I had I had the three drinks, and I went over my total by one, my first yellow day, my first and only yellow day. And so I think I was already committed at that point to where I was headed.
Speaker 2:And I'd had of those six, six were dry. Of those twelve days, six were dry, and six I was drinking. And then I had three, and I said, you know, you're kidding yourself. You know, you're you're not you're not being serious about this thing. So I gave myself that little lecture, and I said, and I started I think I started just feeling better.
Speaker 2:You know? I wasn't hungover. And Yeah. The the positives sort of fed on each other. And and, actually, that's continued, you know, to this day.
Speaker 2:So and, honestly, I you know, my attitude was this isn't hard. You know, I I I didn't feel like I had a physical addiction to alcohol.
Speaker 1:It was
Speaker 2:all in my case, it was just mental. You know, it was that crutch that I what that was there. So I've cast those aside, cast those crutches aside. Yes. Black and whoop.
Speaker 2:So, so here we are.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I love that. You know what I think is one thing that you said there that I think is really important for a lot of people to realize is that our frame of mind or mindset, of course, sets us up for success or failure in many ways. And when people come into this thinking it's gonna be hard, it ends up being a self fulfilling prophecy. It's gonna be hard.
Speaker 1:But if you think like you did, whether it was intentional or not and thought, I can do this. This doesn't have to be hard. In fact, this can be easy. That road is a lot easier to travel on.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I agree. But at the same time, not everybody just like I wasn't capable before of of quitting or of coming into that realization, I don't think everybody's I I you know, I read comments every day in in the in the record, and I'm always struck by how people have struggled for two years. You know? Like, I need to, do this or I want to.
Speaker 2:I hope. I wish. To me, it was, and I quote Yoda in my comments all the time. You know? Try not.
Speaker 2:There is only do. So I that's always been my mindset about almost everything. So I finally put it in into practice.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I mean, certainly, you had an accelerated version of it. And I think, you know, I think there's a ripe period for
Speaker 2:Forty forty years acceleration.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Yeah. Like, building up to that moment. But, you know, some people it it takes two years. Some people it takes five years.
Speaker 1:So whatever the year is, like, there are times that I've looked back and thought, why didn't I do it faster? And it didn't happen because I needed to learn what I needed to learn at the time and the end at the pace. And yeah. So I I mean, I think that there's no set right time. There's a root, and some people can stick to it.
Speaker 2:I agree with that. And I've had to get over, and Sunnyside's helped me with this a lot, is get over the sort of judgment I have, or a tendency to be judgmental, when I'm so holy and wonderful. It's it's certainly not the case. This has been a humbling experience. It's actually been the reverse as as I've figured out what I really need to do with my life.
Speaker 1:When you decided that you were gonna stop, were you deciding that you're taking a break? Were you deciding that's it, that I'm done forever? What was did you have a decision point then?
Speaker 2:Yes. And the decision point was not to answer the forever evermore or moderation question, but to prove to myself that I didn't have to drink, period. That was my entire goal. And so I quit in June, and, our our backpacking squad gets together typically in August, at a friend's house out in Utah, and it's a it's a highly conducive environment if you would like to have cocktails. And so I my goal was I'm gonna go to that gathering, and I'll have I'm gonna have a glass of wine at that gathering.
Speaker 2:That that was my whole mindset. Until the closer I got to that, then I started saying the obvious. You know, like, why would you do that? And so that was my first big test was going out there and meeting, you know, really my dear friends in that environment, and not drinking. And I made it.
Speaker 2:That was a test. And there are a couple others that followed. But my to answer your question, my whole goal was to prove to myself that I could quit. And then once I did, that became my new way of life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's so good. I mean, it sounds like you took the first step into Sunnyside. Sunnyside provided some clarity in that distance. Not only Sunnyside, but I mean, obviously, you were the driver. But you got some clarity on, you know what?
Speaker 1:I'm actually gonna commit to something even larger here. And then that original thing where you just said, I'm gonna have a glass of wine. It gave you even that next step give you enough clarity. They're like, why do I don't even need that either.
Speaker 2:I think the the other thing that influenced me was just reading the stories that everybody has, The Good, Bad, and the Ugly. And some of them were just seared in my mind of the struggles that people have. And so that taught me the empathy. You know, I I didn't have anything like that in my life that some of these people have had, you know, in jail or, you know, somebody who killed themselves or I mean I mean, the stories are horrific and, again, humbling in my view. And so that helped put a bigger perspective on things for me.
Speaker 2:And so I still every day, I read as much as I have time for about people's comments and try to help if I can. That's been an education for me too, again, not being judgmental and being supportive and positive. But also trying to help people understand when they're kidding themselves, when they're in the I hope, I wish, you know, and they've been on the site for two years, and they're still drinking a lot. You know, like, come on. So that's my that's my nature.
Speaker 2:That's not good. But anyway.
Speaker 1:So let me go back to I mean, first, I wanna comment that giving is so fulfilling in so many different ways, and especially it's also a big part of lending to the individual that's giving success and fulfillment and in general is just helping the world. I love to hear that you're in that. But I want to take back to my original question that I withdrew, which was you used Sunnyside originally to do moderation or mindful drinking. You changed your mind and decided to go full sober. However, you still used Sunnyside moving forward.
Speaker 1:So tell me about that experience.
Speaker 2:Well, it's partly that I feel the pain. You know, the the universe speaks, through these comments, and everybody's different And it it led me to say what I said about being privileged because this is a humbling experience when you look at the disadvantages so many people have had and how they're struggling, fighting the good fight. So that was part of it. The other part of it was and this is sort of one of my core revelations or core beliefs is that I think I drank because I didn't want to or couldn't or feared trying to accomplish more in my life, whether that was painting or whether that was reading or whether that was being nice to other people or being supportive or just helping out. And it wasn't like I didn't do that, but I wasn't focused as much as I really felt that I should be on living the life that I feel I should have had.
Speaker 2:But that you know, as you said, that was just part of my journey. So I there's no point in regretting that. But there is a point in rectifying that and being better. And that's core takeaway from all of this is that I've been given this I've been given these talents, this opportunity to help people, to do better myself. And it's you're right.
Speaker 2:It's wonderful feeling to be able to, you know, help somebody or whether you know? And then that that takes the simple form of letting people go by traffic, you know, in front of you, cut and fraud or what whatever, and not getting upset and crazy and competitive about everything in my life, which was also the case. So I'm not eligible for sainthood anytime soon. But I feel good about kind of that path.
Speaker 1:Yeah. You should. It's it's really important. And what I think a lot of people that might be on this journey, dip maybe a different path, but the same journey might feel like they don't have anything to offer maybe if they haven't figured it out. First of all, not everybody's figured everything out.
Speaker 1:It doesn't matter where you are or how far you are into this. But then also, like, even if you've had setbacks, there were growing moments or learning moments along that way that maybe somebody has not yet experienced themselves that you can not only offer to them, but then also reaffirm in helping them where you were at one point there and remember, oh, yeah, I've been there. Because it's easy to get into our day to day and forget, you know, how far we've come, especially when the new normal becomes normal.
Speaker 2:Yep. Yep. Couldn't agree more. And I think this is work. You know, you gotta work at this.
Speaker 2:You've been given this time that you're not drinking or you've taken it, I should say, perhaps better. What are you gonna do with it? Why waste it? And that's sort of a moralistic judgment. I don't mean it to sound like that, but you who couldn't do better?
Speaker 2:I guess is that.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. And I mean, it does take work. I mean, I said that thing earlier where if you envision it, it can be easy. That that's not me implying in any way that it is going to be easy. But if you take that more positive mindset instead of the other one, then those struggles might be a little bit less challenging.
Speaker 2:Right. Right.
Speaker 1:So give us the fast forward version now. So you've gone through this transformation. Tell us some of the benefits, you know, mentally, physically, emotionally that you've experienced over this year.
Speaker 2:I think the thing that struck me the most is I'm sorry. I'm getting emotional. One of my daughters said to me, and I love and adore them, dad, you're so much nicer when you're not drinking. And that was, you know,
Speaker 1:like Yes.
Speaker 2:Whap whap, but it was a compliment. But, like, that's I I think I've recognized in myself that I'm famous for not understanding what's going on in my life. And so that was an example of waking up to what somebody else thought, and they were right. And being able to say, you're right, and I'm I'm thankful that you're telling me that. So that was an early reminder that that this was the right thing to do for for me.
Speaker 1:Yes. What an affirmation.
Speaker 2:Another thing that I did was I reached out to one of these one of my backpacking buddies who I knew had quit. This this is a guy who took two liter bottles of Jack Daniel's on the hike when, again, weight is precious. And he quit. And he was one of the first people I called, in addition to my family, who were very supportive. And he was supportive to me, and that relationship has deepened as a result of our shared journey.
Speaker 2:And that was important because it was good to know that there was an island out there or islands that I could land on, and it would be very supportive. It wouldn't be judgmental. It wouldn't be I had other friends who said, why did you quit? Why aren't you drinking?
Speaker 1:I was drinking too much,
Speaker 2:is what I said. And they would go oh and I could tell a couple of them thought to themselves maybe I am too but you know that that would be another conversation later I hope anyway I hope I hope I answered your question I do wander
Speaker 1:No. You did definitely did not wander and answered the question. And, you know, as a dad myself, what an ultimate thing, a piece of feedback. Of course, it comes with a little bit of a bittersweet to it, but an affirmation nonetheless of that you're on the right path for you and the people that surround you.
Speaker 2:Well, I read a saying not too long ago that stuck with me that it was a poster actually that said, I I wanna be the man my dog thinks I am. So you know? And I wanna be the man my daughter knows that I can be, is the paraphrasing of that. So it was good. It was affirming in a lot of ways, and that's the way I took it.
Speaker 2:And maybe I wouldn't have before.
Speaker 1:Yeah. That's great. You know, I love having these conversations with Sunnyside customers, users, members. And if anybody else is like either using Sunnyside or is considering using Sunnyside or maybe like one of your hiking buddies was like, Hey, what was your experience with that? Should I use it?
Speaker 1:What would you say to that?
Speaker 2:I would tell them why I thought it was helpful and see if that resonated with them. It either does or might not. And they may not be ready for that next step in their journey. But you asked me about the benefits. So that was one.
Speaker 2:The others are just so tremendously more productive. You know, I'm swimming. I swam half a mile, more than half a mile yesterday. I finished a painting that I was working on. You know?
Speaker 2:Yeah. I'm not trying to make it sound like I'm, you know, Michelangelo, but I wanna be. So
Speaker 1:No. You're experiencing benefits. Of course, you like you you're gonna wanna share that. We wanna hear about it.
Speaker 2:I think the other thing is that it's allowed me to peel away the layers and to come to these realizations. Almost every day, I said, oh, you know, I have some revelation that's that's new to me. Or, and it's all positive as far as I'm concerned. And that's the way I choose to look at it. It's helped me in my relationships immensely, because I'm just more attuned to other people.
Speaker 2:I was always a fairly oblivious guy. You know, I was just kinda charging through life, doing what I was doing. I was having a blast most of the time, until I wasn't. I always had, you know, an undercurrent of doubt and worry, and maybe drinking masks, some of that. And so having that stripped away forces you to confront things.
Speaker 2:And that's just to me, that's been nothing but healthy. Because you don't really have a choice. You know? You've got you you can't moan about the way things are the way you are. You gotta change them.
Speaker 2:So that's my mindset for better or for worse.
Speaker 1:No. Well, thank you so much for coming on today, Charlie, and sharing. I mean, when I hear you say that, it sounds like it opened up more opportunities than you could even think of from the day that you started. And so I love hearing that. I love that you came here and shared with us.
Speaker 1:And you know, if you wanna leave it with a parting word, what would you tell to anybody that's kinda thinking about doing what you did?
Speaker 2:It's better. It'll be better for you, and it's poison. Let's keep that in mind. So to me, the moderation or quitting, it it's not a debate for me. I realize it is for some people, and and I know some of those people.
Speaker 2:They can have a glass of wine on Saturday. Great. But realize it for what it is, and know that there's a better you ahead of you.
Speaker 1:Now that's great. Definitely a great way to end it. Thank you, Charlie, for coming on today. Thank you for being open. Thank you for well, not even just thank you.
Speaker 1:Congratulations on all the progress that you've made. I think it's just incredible.
Speaker 2:Thank you. Appreciate it.
Speaker 1:This podcast is brought to you by Sunnyside, the number one alcohol moderation platform, having helped hundreds of thousands of people cut out more than 13,000,000 drinks since 2020. And in fact, an independent study showed that Sunnyside reduced alcohol consumption by an average of 30% in ninety days. And as one of our members shared, Sunnyside helps me stay mindful of my drinking habits. It's not super restrictive. So if I'm craving a glass of wine with dinner, I just track it and I move on with my week.
Speaker 1:If you could benefit from drinking a bit less and being more mindful of when and how much you drink, head on over to sunnyside.co to get a free fifteen day trial. You'll get access to everything that we offer, including tracking and planning tools, coaching from our experts, a vibrant community of people just like you, and the motivation and advice to stay on track with your health goals, all with no pressure to quit. That's sunnyside.co.
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