7 Scientific Reasons You Feel Guilty After Drinking (And How to Fix It)
Welcome to Journey to the Sunny Side, the podcast where we have thoughtful conversations to explore the science of habits, uncover the secrets to mindful living, and, of course, inspire your own mindful drinking journey. This podcast is brought to you by Sunny Side, the number one alcohol moderation platform. And if you could benefit from drinking a bit less, head on over to sunnyside.co to get a free fifteen day trial. I'm your host, Mike Hardenbrook, published author, neuroscience enthusiast, and habit change expert. Welcome back to Journey to the Sunny Side.
MIKE:And today, I'm gonna talk about something that I hear very often. Let me paint this picture. Do you ever wake up after a night of drinking and you feel this weird sinking guilt in your stomach? Even if you didn't even do anything wrong. Maybe you're replaying conversations.
MIKE:Maybe you're over analyzing texts that you sent. Or you're just sitting there and thinking, why did I even drink that much? Well, it turns out there's actually real neuroscience behind this. It's got nothing to do with morality or willpower. It's your brain that's actually wired to feel this way after drinking.
MIKE:And in the next ten minutes, I'm gonna break it down so that you can finally understand why this happens, and more importantly, how to stop it from wrecking your mornings and sometimes your entire day. So let's get into it. There are seven reasons I'm gonna cover here. The first one is dopamine and the reward system. So let's talk about dopamine.
MIKE:This is that feel good chemical in your brain, and drinking, it floods your brain with dopamine. It's gonna make you feel more relaxed, more confident, and maybe even the best version of yourself. But there's a catch to it. Your brain actually doesn't like this artificial spike of dopamine. And there's something called the allostatic model of addiction, which basically planes that every time you artificially boost dopamine, your brain compensates it by slamming on the brakes.
MIKE:And what happens when dopamine crashes? You feel low. And when you feel low, your brain starts searching for reasons, which is that self criticism and that guilt that starts creeping in. It's like buyer's remorse for your brain. You were sold the idea that alcohol would make you feel great, and now you're realizing with this dopamine drop that it came with some hidden fees.
MIKE:Alright. Number two is prefrontal cortex and decision making. Now this is the part of the brain that makes decisions. So it is responsible for judgment, impulse control, and planning. And alcohol, well, it shuts that part down.
MIKE:In one study by doctor Nora Volkow shows that alcohol literally dampens the prefrontal activity, which is why just one drink sometimes turns into three or six or more. And we don't really need a study to tell us that we know that this prefrontal activity drops because we know that our decision making goes down. But here's the part that is related to what we're talking about today, and that is feeling guilty. Your prefrontal cortex comes back online the next morning, and now it's doing damage control. It's looking back at what you did while you were quote, unquote offline.
MIKE:This is why you wake up feeling way more critical of yourself. Your brain is now fully alert, and it's analyzing the decisions it wasn't fully present at the time for, and it's making them seem worse in hindsight. Number three is cortisol. Guilt isn't just psychological, it's also physiological. So alcohol messes with your stress hormones, specifically cortisol, and it actually lowers cortisol while you're drinking, which is why you feel more chill and more relaxed.
MIKE:But then the next day, cortisol spikes back up, which is gonna make you feel anxious, jittery, restless. And that also refers to the term hangxiety, where your stress hormones are out of whack and your brain starts searching for something to blame. And it usually lands on, I shouldn't have had that last drink or I shouldn't have had that many to drink. And even if nothing really went wrong, your body's physical stress response is making you feel like something did. Our number four is serotonin and the social approval factor.
MIKE:So have you ever woken up thinking, did I talk too much? Did I embarrass myself? Well, alcohol temporarily increases serotonin, which is the brain's chemical that makes us feel socially connected and confident. So when you're drinking, you're feeling like you're on top of your social game, but then the next day, serotonin levels drop, and that's when your brain goes into this over analyzing mode, and it's second guessing everything you did. Did I say something dumb?
MIKE:Was I loud? Did I overshare? And even if no one else really was thinking about it, your brain is wired to assume the worst when serotonin is low. Number five, identity conflict. Now this one, especially if you're trying to cut back, can hit hard.
MIKE:Have you ever woken up thinking, I told myself I wasn't gonna drink that much, but I did it anyways. Well, you're experiencing something called cognitive dissonance. I actually did a ten minute Monday dedicated to this topic alone, and it's basically when your actions don't match your values. And here's the deal. Your brain really hates contradictions.
MIKE:So to fix that discomfort, it triggers guilt and shame to push you towards making a change. And this is why people who are trying to drink less often feel worse after drinking. It's not just about the alcohol. It's the fact that it conflicts with the version of yourself you're trying to become. Alright.
MIKE:Number six is the shadow self effect. The famous psychologist, Carl Jung, had this idea of the shadow self. And basically, it's the parts of us that we don't always wanna acknowledge or show. And alcohol, sometimes it has a way of bringing those parts out. Maybe you were louder than usual.
MIKE:Maybe you got more emotional. Or maybe you said something that you wouldn't normally say. And even if it wasn't that bad, it feels weird. And because it doesn't match how you normally see yourself, that mismatch, well, that's where guilt can come in. Alright.
MIKE:Number seven is the alcohol as an excuse trap. Sometimes guilt isn't just about the drinking. It's about what drinking enabled. So did you skip a workout because you overslept? Did you eat junk food?
MIKE:Did you text somebody that you would normally never text? Studies show that alcohol reduces self regulation, which we know, making it easier to do things that you might regret. So the next day, your brain connects alcohol to those poor choices, and then suddenly drinking feels like the enemy, even if it wasn't even a real big issue. Alright. We just covered seven reasons why you feel guilty after drinking, and let's get into some problem solving here.
MIKE:How can we address this? So step one is reframe the guilt as a signal, not a punishment. Your brain isn't just trying to punish you. It's just processing what it has already experienced. And guilt is just a signal that you can learn something.
MIKE:So instead of saying, I shouldn't have done that, shift your mindset to what can I learn from this? This is a really important mindset that you should adjust to. I've mentioned it on so many different occasions on these episodes, and there's a reason why. It is really important to adopt this learning mindset instead of punishing yourself. So that one tweak can change everything.
MIKE:Instead of spiraling into shame, start looking at practical takeaways. Maybe it's realizing that your guilt isn't about the drinking. It's about staying up too late. It's about missing your morning workout or something else that isn't aligned. And the more that you see the guilt as a teacher and not a judge, the faster that you're gonna move forward.
MIKE:Alright. Step two is identify your triggers. Now let's get specific. What exactly makes you feel guilty about the drinking? And ask yourself, is it drinking too much?
MIKE:Is it saying things that you normally wouldn't? Is it making decisions that you regret? Is it waking up feeling tired and unproductive? And once you start tracking these patterns, you're gonna gain some control. You're gonna actually want to make small targeted changes instead of just saying I need to drink less and hoping for the best, which we know that strategy seldom works out.
MIKE:So I have a challenge for you this week around this. After any drinking occasion, grab a notebook, grab your notes app, and take a notation. How much you drink, how you're feeling the next day. Is it guilt, anxiety, or regret? And what specifically triggered that feeling?
MIKE:I gave you seven reasons here that maybe might be applicable to you. So try this one for one week after drinking occasions and look for patterns. When you can identify patterns, this is gonna make it easier to adjust your habits much easier. Step three is practice self compassion. Now this might sound a little bit soft, but hear me out.
MIKE:Self compassion is actually scientifically proven to help people change their habits faster. So think about it. When you mess up and beat yourself up, do you actually improve? And the answer is probably not. If anything, you just feel worse, which makes you more likely to do it again.
MIKE:But when you say, hey. You know what? I made a mistake, but I'm learning. Your brain now stays open to growth. And here's an easy way to approach this.
MIKE:Imagine your best friend came to you and said, I'm feeling guilty about how much I drink last night. Would you tell them, wow. You're terrible. You should feel terrible. You should feel ashamed.
MIKE:No. You wouldn't. You'd probably say, hey. You know what? It happens.
MIKE:Learn from it. Move forward. Don't sit in this place of regret. So why not do the same thing for yourself? So the next time you feel guilt creeping in, pause and ask yourself, how would I talk to a friend in this situation?
MIKE:And then apply the same kind of kindness and understanding to yourself. And then number four, create a game plan for next time. Here's the thing. Guilt without action just keeps repeating itself. So the last step, make a plan for the next time.
MIKE:Based on what you've learned as you're tracking and looking for patterns, set one small goal. Maybe it's switching to a drink that doesn't leave you feeling like crap. Maybe it's an amount that you feel comfortable with. Maybe it's drinking water between drinks or setting a specific cutoff time. The key is make it realistic.
MIKE:Don't aim for, I'm never gonna drink again unless that's your goal. Instead, focus on one habit shift at a time. So the challenge is decide one small change that you'll make the next time you drink, write it down, tell a friend, make it real. Alright. So the next time you wake up feeling guilty after drinking, remember, it's not just you.
MIKE:It's your brain's chemistry. It's psychology. And most importantly, it's something that you can work with and not something that totally controls you. Alright. If this episode helped you, do me a favor.
MIKE:Try one of these challenges. Write me an email, mike@sunnyside.co. I love to hear from the audience, so please send me an email with any of your questions, feedback, anything. And if you've got a topic that you want me to cover, shoot me a message as well. Alright.
MIKE:That's it for today's ten minute Monday. I hope you have a wonderful week, and cheers to your mindful drinking journey. This podcast is brought to you by SunnySide, the number one alcohol moderation platform. And if you could benefit from drinking a bit less, head on over to sunnyside.co to get a free fifteen day trial.
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