Journey to the Sunnyside

mike: 00:00

Welcome to Journey to the Sunny Side, the podcast where we have thoughtful conversations to explore the science of habits, uncover the secrets to mindful living, and, of course, inspire your own mindful drinking journey. This podcast is brought to you by Sunny Side, the number one alcohol moderation platform. And if you could benefit from drinking a bit less, head on over to sunnyside.co to get a free fifteen day trial. I'm your host, Mike Hardenbrook, published author, neuroscience enthusiast, and habit change expert. Hey.

mike: 00:35

And welcome back to Journey to the Sunnyside. I'm Mike Hardenbrook. And today, I'm gonna talk about something that everyone runs into at some point, and that is staying motivated when the excitement starts to wear off. So maybe you started cutting back on alcohol and you're feeling amazing. You have more energy.

mike: 00:54

You're getting better sleep. You're waking without that regret anymore. But now all of a sudden, it's not feeling quite as easy as it was. You're not as pumped up. You are maybe slipping back into old patterns or at least thinking about it.

mike: 01:08

And you're also even thinking, why is this getting harder? And here's the thing. It isn't just you. This happens to everyone when they make big changes. And it's not because you're doing anything wrong, and it's not because you're failing.

mike: 01:22

It's really about how your brain works. So motivation is gonna get you started, but it is not gonna keep you going day in and day out. And today, I'm gonna talk about what to do when this motivation starts to fade. We'll break down why this is happening, what the science says about it, and I'm gonna give you five fresh ways, things that I haven't talked about to stay on track even when you're not feeling like it. Alright.

mike: 01:47

First things first is why does motivation fade? Because it actually always does. At the beginning of any big change, you get into this rush. Your brain, it gets fired up. It gets all these dopamine because it loves new things.

mike: 02:02

But over time, that rush starts to settle in. It stops feeling so exciting, and it starts to feel more like work. And behavioral scientists actually have a name for this. It's called hedonic adaption. And basically, your brain gets used to whatever you're doing, and the highs from that new habit start to wear off.

mike: 02:22

And this is why people quit things all the time. Things like diets and workouts and even mindful drinking. So you hit that first rough patch and you think, oh, man. You know, maybe I'm not cut out for this. Maybe I can't keep this going for the long run.

mike: 02:37

But guess what? This is totally normal. So if you expect or know about this dip and can recognize it when it happens, you're not gonna panic or maybe hit the eject button. You just say to yourself, okay. I knew that this is gonna come, and let's keep going anyways.

mike: 02:54

And the first key is motivation is unreliable. So motivation is great, but momentum is gonna keep us moving forward for the long run. So we have to keep our momentum going and realize and catch ourselves when we're in these dips. So today, I wanna give you some fresh five tactics that might be able to keep things a little bit more interesting. I think it's very important though, however, to keep the foundations in place.

mike: 03:21

You need to know your why of why you're doing all of these big changes. You need to track and plan ahead of time, and you wanna plan ahead of time on how you're gonna deal with difficult moments. But here are the five fresh things that you could think about that might keep you a little bit more motivated. So the first one is trick your brain into making better choices. So most of the time, drinking is on impulse decisions.

mike: 03:47

And when that moment hits, sometimes you just grab a drink, and before you know it, you're kinda on autopilot. So instead of trying to force yourself into this stop or not drinking mode, the key is more about slowing down the decisions. So we have the one minute rule. So the next time you're out and you're about to take a sip, wait sixty seconds and ask yourself, do I actually want this, or is this just kind of a bad habit kicking in on autopilot? And why this pause actually works is that it's based in CBT.

mike: 04:18

This is cognitive behavioral therapy, which helps people pause and challenge automatic behaviors. And doctor Judson Brewer's research on habit loops shows that simply pausing to check-in with yourself weakens old patterns over time. Okay. Number two is the two option rule. So one of the biggest struggles when it comes with drinking is that you have to have your decisions ahead of time.

mike: 04:42

Because when they happen in the moment, when your willpower is low and habits take over, that is when bad decisions happen. So to make that decision ahead of time, we already know. You know, with Sunnyside, you do your planning ahead of time. And with this, the two option rule, it's a little bit of a twist. So instead of just saying, I'm gonna skip drinks tonight or I'm gonna out loud myself too, you're gonna say, tonight, I'll either have two drinks and switch to soda, or I'll skip drinking altogether.

mike: 05:11

And what this actually does is, first of all, it gives us a plan. So let's say many of us have gone through this. You plan on skipping drinks, and for whatever reason, you just weren't able to stick to that commitment. However, you have no plan after that. Like, if you didn't stick to your original plan, what's your contingency plan?

mike: 05:32

And usually, what happens is everything goes out the window. You know? You broke that first commitment, and so now you have no planning for drinks. And so we don't want you to be four, five, six drinks deep because you have no plan. This gives us two options.

mike: 05:45

It's an if and then scenario. And so what this also does is it gives you some permission, and we don't have this rebellion inside of us that are saying, I can't drink tonight. A lot of times, I found that if I give myself permission to have a set amount of drinks or to skip it, usually, I tend to not have anything. It's like I have this permission. I don't need to rebel against it, and I just end up making the better choice in that moment.

mike: 06:12

And it's really about predeciding between two structured options, which is gonna eliminate this problem of deciding in the moment and reducing the mental effort required. And studies on implementation and intentions by Peter Golwitzer of NYU shows that when you make a concrete plan, your brain treats it as a commitment, and this is gonna increase your follow through. So instead of making decisions when you're already at the bar or at home, we already know this, you can also try this new twist of having an if and then scenario that makes a decision up for you in advance when your brain is in a better place to choose wisely instead of making a contingency plan in the moment. K. Number three is watch out for the what the hell effect.

mike: 06:58

So what is the what the hell effect? So have you ever had one of these moments where you slip up and think, screw it. I've already messed up, and I might as well go all in on it. And there's actually a name for that. It's called the what the hell effect discovered by doctor Janet Polivi.

mike: 07:13

And when people feel like they've failed even in a small way, they tend to say what the hell and completely abandon their goals. So an example is you plan to just have one drink, but you end up having two or five. And instead of stopping there, well, I've already messed up, so I might as well just keep going. And before you know it, you're in the next morning and you're wondering what the hell just happened. So how do you avoid this?

mike: 07:37

Instead of viewing a slip up as a failure, first of all, see it as a data point. I've mentioned that many times and say to yourself, okay. That didn't go as planned. What can I do different next time? Studies on self compassion show that people who forgive themselves even for small mistakes are actually more likely to stick to their long term goals.

mike: 07:56

And the key here is don't let just one drink turn into five because you've made a small mistake. Catch yourself, reset, and keep going. Number four is gamify the process to make it fun, and you can do something like a habit streak challenge. Let's say you have a seven day streak goal where you're gonna check off one mindful drinking action per day. So that could be things like you're tracking your drinks, you're swapping a drink, you're doing mindfulness practices like journaling, you're setting a drink limit before you go out.

mike: 08:29

And why that works is doctor BJ Fogg, who actually I've sat in on many of his lectures, he's amazing. He wrote the book tiny habits, and it shows that streaks create dopamine hits, which make habits feel rewarding instead of more like a chore. So you can also do a one for one rule. So for every alcoholic drink that you have, you must earn it by drinking a nonalcoholic drink first. And this forces a deliberate pause between drinks, which research shows by doctor David Nutt, a neuropsychopharmacologist that is a mouthful That shows that you reduce your total alcohol consumption by preventing binge drinking with this pause.

mike: 09:13

And then number five is to connect to something bigger. So instead of these small little things, we're gonna go in the opposite direction, and you could do a twelve month future you letter. So you could write a letter to yourself one year from today answering a few questions. So for example, what's different about my life now that I'm in control of my drinking? Or what do my mornings feel like?

mike: 09:35

What do my weekends look like? How are my energy levels? How are my relationships? And how is my mental health? So why this works?

mike: 09:44

Doctor Hal Hirschfield, a researcher from UCLA, found that when people feel emotionally connected to their future selves, they make better long term decisions. Okay. So let's do a quick recap with a challenge at the end. So number one, trick your brain into making better choices. Use the one minute rule.

mike: 10:02

Number two, predecide to reduce your stress. You can do things like the two option rule. Watch out for the what the hell effect. Small slip ups aren't failures. Just learn from them and keep moving on.

mike: 10:15

Gamify the process. Build a habit streak or use the one for one rule. And then finally connect to something bigger, write to your future self in a letter. And here's my challenge to you. Pick just one of these tactics to try this week.

mike: 10:29

Just one and see what happens. And if you do, I wanna know about it. Shoot me an email, mike@sunnyside.co. Or if you got some value out of this, leave a review on whatever podcast platform you're listening on. Thanks for hanging out with me today.

mike: 10:44

I hope you have a beautiful week, and cheers to your mindful drinking journey. This podcast is brought to you by SunnySide, the number one alcohol moderation platform. And if you could benefit from drinking a bit less, head on over to sunnyside.co to get a free fifteen day trial.