Journey to the Sunnyside

Mike: 00:00

Welcome to Journey to the Sunny Side, the podcast where we have thoughtful conversations to explore the science of habits, uncover the secrets to mindful living, and, of course, inspire your own mindful drinking journey. This podcast is brought to you by Sunny Side, the number one alcohol moderation platform. And if you could benefit from drinking a bit less, head on over to sunnyside.co to get a free fifteen day trial. I'm your host, Mike Hardenbrook, published author, neuroscience enthusiast, and habit change expert. Welcome back to Journey to the Sunnyside.

Mike: 00:37

I'm Mike Hardenbrook. And on this ten minute Monday, we are coming into February. And many of us have done dry or dry as January, and we've experienced a new state of mind. We're feeling really good. Maybe we're feeling more confident.

Mike: 00:52

We're seeing health improvements. But there's something that's really important to acknowledge that when we feel amazing, we tend to forget that discomfort over time, that regret, and even the reasons why we wanted to make a change in the first place. And that's where we run into a lot of common mental traps. When we're at our best, we assume we'll always feel that way. But when we get tired, when we get stressed, cravings start to hit, and our minds start to do anything to convince us to act against our long term goals for the short term remedy.

Mike: 01:28

And that's why in today's episode, I wanna walk you through an exercise that's really simple to do, but it's a very powerful tool. And it's gonna sound hokey, but it's writing a letter to your future self. And this is gonna help you stop cravings, stop self sabotage in its tracks, and realign with your best self at any time. And the reason I wanna do this right now, although this can be done at any time of the year, is that in dry or driest January time, if you had some success, you probably had more instances of this higher state. And this is really important to reflect on.

Mike: 02:03

So before getting into writing this letter, I want you to think about those times when you felt most aligned with yourself. Those were the moments where your mind was clear and you were feeling and thinking maybe, I love how I feel right now. And you know what? I do not wanna go back to the way I was. For me, for example, it's always in the early mornings when I'm sitting there with coffee and I'm reading or I'm writing.

Mike: 02:27

For you, it could be instances after a great workout or maybe just going for a really nice walk outside. Maybe you feel great after a long project. It could be a nap, you know, when you wake up feeling more clear after a long day. Or maybe it could be out with your kids or your family or your friends and just being really present in the moment and acknowledging that and being like, this is the life I really love. So wherever that moment happens, it doesn't matter.

Mike: 02:55

But there are definitely times when you probably would recognize when that is, and that's the version I want you to find, and that's the version that needs to write this letter because that's the version that knows the truth of the life that you want to create. That's the first step. And this letter is gonna be written from that high state self to your future self that is in a low moment. And this is a version of you that would either feel tired, stressed, or just tempted to make choices that don't align with your goals. Now I'm gonna give you three examples of the different types of letters that you could write to yourself.

Mike: 03:32

There are more than three, of course, but these are just three different types of tones, maybe speaks to your personality more. And remember, whatever your goal is, that's what you're speaking to, whether it be you wanna take a break, extended or just temporary, whether you want to cut back on the number of nights and we're talking about a night that you just said, hey. I'm not gonna drink tonight, and you're questioning that. Or it's also the amount you're drinking. Maybe you're out.

Mike: 03:59

You had two. You're really feeling in the moment, and you're debating with yourself. You know what? I'm just gonna cut loose. Any of those instances, this letter can come into handy.

Mike: 04:08

So first, I'm gonna give those three examples, and one is actually one that I wrote to myself. And so here it goes. Mike, I know right now you think this is a good idea. You might be telling yourself it's just one night, just one way to take the edge off or cut loose because you deserve it. But right now, I'm sitting here watching the sunrise, the cool breeze moving through the trees, the sea gulls gliding across the sky, my hot coffee in hand, my mind clear at peace, and I want you to join me tomorrow.

Mike: 04:41

If you make this decision that you're considering, you're gonna miss out on this. Instead, you'll trade it for regret and guilt. You'll wake up tired, feeling unhealthy, and out of sync with the life you truly want. Right now, your tired mind is trying to trick you. Let this thought go just for today.

Mike: 05:00

Trust me. Trust yourself. Join me in building the life you dream of one decision at a time, and that decision starts now. Do what your heart knows is right, not what your passing thoughts are telling you. Your future dreams are here waiting.

Mike: 05:15

I'll see you here tomorrow. So that was that's my letter to myself, and I'm gonna give you a couple other versions. Now, yeah, I'm a sensitive guy, and that's what speaks to me. Some people like the no BS tub version. So here's another one.

Mike: 05:30

I know what you're thinking. It's just one night. It doesn't matter. I deserve this. But let's be real.

Mike: 05:36

You know that's not true. You've been here before. You've made this excuse before. And what happens every time? You wake up feeling like shit.

Mike: 05:44

You regret it. You wish you had stuck to the plan. So before you go make a choice you'll regret, ask yourself, is this really worth it? Will it get you closer to what you want? Or will you be sitting here tomorrow frustrated, tired, and kicking yourself for doing this again?

Mike: 06:02

You've come too far to throw it all away in a few minutes of fake relief. Stay strong. You don't need this. You've got better things to do. Alright.

Mike: 06:10

And here's encouragement. I know you're struggling right now. I know the cravings feel overwhelming, and maybe today was harder than usual. But I want to remind you of something important. You love how you feel when you're free of this cycle.

Mike: 06:25

Right now, your mind is making up reasons why you should give in. It's telling you that this will help and that it's not a big deal, but you know better. You know how good it feels to wake up clear headed, proud, and controlled. The cravings will pass. The stress will fade, but the regret of giving in, that will stick with you.

Mike: 06:44

Take a deep breath, step outside, go for a walk, call somebody, Do whatever you need to do to get through this moment. You are stronger than this. You are in control. Hold on. Stay with me.

Mike: 06:54

I promise this will pass. Alright. You can totally write whatever you want, but I gave you three very distinct examples of letters that you can write to yourself in your highest state to your lowest state self to stick to your goal, whatever that goal is, whether it's to take a break, whether it's to moderate the frequency or the amount, this works in any of those instances. And I'll tell you why, and some science backs this up. Number one is called cognitive dissonance, and I've talked about this before.

Mike: 07:28

When we're experiencing things like cravings, we start to justify behaviors that don't align with our true goals. So when we have a written letter, it reminds us of what we truly believe overriding the temporary desire. Number two is self distancing, and research shows that when we talk to ourselves in the second person saying things like you instead of I, it helps us make better decisions and manage emotions more effectively. Next, we have the power of pre commitment. The more we reinforce our identity in our highest states, the more likely we are to act in alignment with that identity even when we're tempted.

Mike: 08:08

And number four is the habit loop. So cravings are a predictable loop. We talked about this before. You have the cue, the craving, the response, the reward, and the letter allows us to interrupt the loop by making us aware of the cravings before we actually act on. So just remember this.

Mike: 08:27

Cravings and mental traps are not signs of weakness. They don't mean that you're failing. They don't mean you're doing anything wrong. It's just part of the process. The difference between success and getting off track is whether or not we act on those, and it all comes down to having a plan.

Mike: 08:45

So here's my challenge to you. Take note of when that highest state that you're in, take five minutes in that state, and then write your letter. Then keep it somewhere easy to access. I'm always a huge proponent of paper and pen. But in this instance, I'm gonna go with electronic because having it on your phone, we all have our phones at almost any moment in any place.

Mike: 09:10

But you could even take it a step further and write it, take a photo, and keep it on your phone. Whatever you wanna do, that's your call. But remember, when you have it now, when your mind tries to play a trick on you, you'll have your own words from your own highest self pulling you back on track. Alright. I hope you had a wonderful week, and here's to success in February, and cheers to your mindful drinking journey.

Mike: 09:35

This podcast is brought to you by Sunny Side, the number one alcohol moderation platform. And if you could benefit from drinking a bit less, head on over to sunnyside.co to get a free fifteen day trial.