10 Minute Mondays: Is Overthinking Alcohol a Red Flag? What It Really Means
Welcome to Journey to the Sunny Side, the podcast where we have thoughtful conversations to explore the science of habits, uncover the secrets to mindful living, and, of course, inspire your own mindful drinking journey. This podcast is brought to you by Sunny Side, the number one alcohol moderation platform. And if you could benefit from drinking a bit less, head on over to sunnyside.co to get a free fifteen day trial. I'm your host, Mike Mike Hardenbrook, published author, neuroscience enthusiast, and habit change expert. Hey.
Speaker 1:And welcome back to another one of these ten minute Mondays. I'm Mike Hardenbrook. And this week, we're gonna go to the listeners. And I've got a great listener question for this week's ten minute Monday, and I think it's gonna relate to a lot of people that are listening right now. So here's what they wrote in.
Speaker 1:I tend to overfocus on my drinking. The moment I wake up, I think about what number of drinks I have set for myself and if it's a dry day, how I did yesterday, especially if I blew it, and how this week is going. Outfall is always somewhere in my head. And even though I am usually on track with my goals, I wonder if I should be worried that I think about it so much. It reminds me of when teenagers think about sex.
Speaker 1:Makes me worried that I'm on the brink of returning to heavy drinking. Okay. First off, huge thanks for sending that in, and I want to encourage anybody else who has questions that you want me to address directly on this show with an episode. Send me an email, mike@sunnyside.co, and I'd love to review it. And if it it's good match for everybody here, I'm gonna bring it on the show and talk about it.
Speaker 1:Alright. So let me just say that if you've ever felt this way, you are not alone. I hear this all the time from people trying to cut back or take a break, And I myself have experienced it. So you're not alone and you're doing all the right things. But alcohol does take up way too much mental space.
Speaker 1:And when you have that little voice in the back of your head, it goes, should I be worried? So let me explain. If you've been drinking regularly for years, your brain has built up something pretty strong in neuro pathways around alcohol. So every time that you drink, it's a response to a trigger, whether it's stress, socializing, or maybe just a Friday night out, you reinforce that connection. So when you start cutting back, your brain doesn't just forget about alcohol overnight.
Speaker 1:Instead, it does what's called cognitive preoccupation. And basically, it keeps a check-in. It says, hey. Wait a minute. Aren't we supposed to be thinking about drinks right now?
Speaker 1:And doctor Judd Brewer, a neuroscientist and addiction psychiatrist, explains what he wrote in his book, The Craving Mind. And he talks about how habits are formed through a simple loop. Trigger, behavior, reward. So when you remove the behavior, which in this case is the drinking, your brain still expects the reward. And so it keeps the habit loop active for a while even if you're not acting on it, which is why you're thinking about it.
Speaker 1:The next one is something called the hyper awareness effect. So have you ever been on a diet and then suddenly everything seems like it's about food? You notice commercials. You think about your next meal. Maybe you even wonder after your last meal, if you should have eaten less or you should have eaten more.
Speaker 1:And all of a sudden, you know, it's the only thing you think about. Well, this is called attention bias, and it happens anytime we make a significant lifestyle chain. And basically the more you tell your brain that alcohol is important, even in a trying not to drink way, the more it keeps resurfacing those thoughts. It's kinda like when you buy a new car, you're interested in buying a new car, and then suddenly you see that model everywhere. I think that is the perfect example because you never really thought about it.
Speaker 1:And now all of a sudden it is literally everywhere. So alcohol right now is just sitting in the front row of your brain because you've made a focus on it as a point in your life, whether that's by drinking it or trying not to, or to cut back. And then to go back to your teenager analogy, and I love this listener's analogy about teenagers thinking about sex. It's actually really spot on. So when something is new, it's exciting, and maybe you're emotionally charged around it, our brains, they latch onto that.
Speaker 1:And studies show that adolescence is a time when dopamine levels are extra sensitive, which is why teens obsess over things like social status, relationships, and, yes, sex. So when you change your relationship with alcohol, your brain starts treating it like a big deal. And so it's totally natural that you are hyper focused on it, at least for a little while. Okay. So let's go back to the question about, should I be worried about this?
Speaker 1:So does this mean that you're about to slip back into old habits? Well, not necessarily the key question. Isn't how often do I think about alcohol, but rather how do these thoughts make me feel? So if they're just passing thoughts, like checking in with your progress or planning a social event, that's normal. But if they're ruminating, which it kinda sounds like in your response, it is.
Speaker 1:Meaning that you're stuck in this anxious loop about it. Did I mess up? Am I failing? What if I, you know, go back to old habits? Now that's something you might wanna keep an eye on.
Speaker 1:So there's a difference between reflection and rumination. So let's dive into this for a second. Reflection is when you check-in and make adjustments. Like, okay. I had more than I wanted yesterday, And now I'm gonna plan how I can do better today.
Speaker 1:Rumination on the other hand is when you kind of beat yourself up over and over. I messed up. I'm probably going to fail. I think I should be concerned. Maybe I'm just destined to not be able to change my drinking habits.
Speaker 1:So rumination increases stress and anxiety and ironically stress and anxiety are a major trigger for people to drink. So a study from the journal of neuroscience found that chronic stress literally strengthens the brain's pathways, links to things like cravings, making it harder to resist your urges. So the goal isn't to force yourself to stop thinking about alcohol. It's to shift your focus in a way that's actually more productive and helpful. All right.
Speaker 1:So how do we go about doing that? So here's a few strategies. Number one is to zoom out instead of zooming in. So instead of checking in on alcohol every single day, every moment, maybe, or morning in this case, try looking at trends over time. Ask yourself, how do I feel compared to a month ago?
Speaker 1:What patterns am I noticing? Is my energy better? Is my sleep better? Is my mental clarity better? Is my overall mental health better?
Speaker 1:So the day to day fluctuations, they won't matter as much as your overall improvement and trajectory. Number two would be to reframe the mental space. So big reason alpha takes up so much space in your brain is that it's used to being tied to a lot of your daily routines. So the best way to crowd that out is to fill that space with something new. This is not a new concept.
Speaker 1:I've talked about this a lot. You don't wanna just remove a habit. You want to replace it with something ideally that brings you joy. So if you used to spend your nights drinking, get into a new evening ritual. Maybe it's a workout.
Speaker 1:It's a hobby. It's a puzzle. It doesn't have to be like some big thing. Maybe it's listening to a podcast on a walk, whatever it is, find some space to get through that period so that you're not sitting there focusing on what you don't want to do. And as I said, that's nothing new.
Speaker 1:You probably heard me say that before, but try this little twist to it. So if you're tracking your drinks every day, which you should be, if you're trying to cut back, of course, Sunnyside is great for that. Try tracking something else on top of that. Maybe it's your workouts. Maybe it's your steps.
Speaker 1:Maybe it's the amount of books you've read or any kind of small win towards something you're already currently working towards. Try tracking that too. Give it the same level of thought. And maybe some of your focus will start going into things that you find more positive. And then number three is use a thought filter.
Speaker 1:So the next time you have a drinking related thought that pops into your mind, pause and ask yourself, number one, is this thought helping me move forward or is it just noise? And if it's helpful, great. Use it. If it's not, try redirecting your focus to something that's more productive. And then number four is self compassion instead of self judgment.
Speaker 1:It is so easy to think of, ugh, what like, why am I still thinking about this? Isn't it kind of funny when we sit there and say to ourselves, like, don't think about it. Don't think about it. Why am I thinking about it? But honestly, this only reinforces the loop.
Speaker 1:Instead, remind yourself, Hey, you know what? These thoughts, this is normal. This is just my brain adjusting right now. And I'm not always going to feel this way. I think removing permanence really goes our way.
Speaker 1:Remind yourself like, this is what I'm going through right now. Nothing is gonna be like this forever. So the more you can approach it with this patience, the faster your brain will naturally start thinking about alcohol less, which is the ideal thing, better habits without so much focus. Okay. So let's wrap this one up.
Speaker 1:If you feel like you're thinking too much about alcohol, realize you're not alone. It's part of the process. And it doesn't mean that you're failing or you're about to go off the deep end. It's really a signal that your brain is rewiring. And with time, these thoughts will begin to fade into the background.
Speaker 1:Remember, try zooming out, try replacing those thoughts with something new, and using your thought filter. Is this being helpful? And if any of this resonates with you, again, write me, mike@sunnyside.co with feedback, questions, or any requests for one of these ten minute Mondays. And if you got any value from this, I would love if you could leave a review or rating on whatever podcast platform you're listening to. And again, thanks for hanging out with me.
Speaker 1:I hope you have a wonderful week, and cheers to your mindful drinking journey. This podcast is brought to you by SunnySide, the number one alcohol moderation platform. And if you could benefit from drinking a bit less, head on over to sunnyside.co to get a free fifteen day trial.
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